10 February 2018

本宿、本宿です。 (Motojuku, this is Motojuku.)



Standing obediently behind the kiroi sen, waiting for the futsu densha. The shinkansen rushes by violently, the daigakusei immersed in their keitai taking no notice to their fluttering strait hair. Exhausted men staggering in from the post-work nomikai and a teenage couple holding hands on the way home from a late night of bukatsu. Kaze.


Kiroi sen, yellow safety line. Even the automated intercom voice warning riders to stand behind the line sounds tired, as she lists off the next few stops. Futsu densha, the local train, which is the slowest, but the only one that will stop near our obscure apartment by the river. Shinkansen, the bullet train that yells at 200 miles per hour, travelling from the frigid top to the beachy bottom of this California-sized island.


Daigakusei, college students. Thoughts of breaking the mold swimming around in their thoughts, but conforming to the norm on keitai, their cell phones. Nomikai, men drinking together with the coworkers they have already spent 12 hours with today. Leaving their wives to put the kids to bed and fall asleep alone, again. Bukatsu, the club sport middle and high schoolers have chosen, attending in the evenings after morning study, school, and after-school exam preparation class.


Kaze, a gentle wind, flowing from the ancient treetops through the canal of the Motojuku train station, singing to the gods of the land of the rising sun. Motojuku, a mountain town in the city of Okazaki, Japan. Motojuku is in puberty, honoring the ancient roots that run down the mountain through the station: the first spurt of growth into city life.


Walking to the station, strict tradition and devotion tingles the ground as one passes the abandoned shrines and temples covered in mossy drapes. The remaining beverage machine lights glitter, enticing the pedestrian to enjoy a melon soda, or can of corn soup. Cross the bridge, around the enormous gutter and down and up the staircase to cross the street, kaze again. The automatic ticket teller doesn't process prepaid train cards yet, a two-inch ticket must be purchased in the adjacent machine, fed to the teller, where it will meet the rider on the other side of the gate.


Alas the futsu densha arrives, and all these figures pile in to the surprisingly clean car. The train travels hundreds of miles, carrying thousands of people per day. However, like their thoughts, all riders keep their refuse to themselves. Exhaustion and beaten routine swirl through the muggy air, pride in their inventions but begging for innovations. Eyes do not meet on purpose, they sleepily close or adhere to a screen, sealing in isolation. Politeness and courtesy abound although friendship shyly remains fictional. The figures rock back and forth once, as the train stretches out of the station. Until next time.


 









07 February 2018

Current Understanding of Obedience



I would love to share a bit of what I have learned. I pray that as I testify, the Holy Ghost will be in your heart to teach you the tidbit of Gospel that you need in your home this week. To me, the Holy Ghost feels like a warm swelling in my heart, which is similar to the feeling of heartburn I get after eating a meal like the one on Thanksgiving. So, sometimes it’s hard to tell. But, if we listen, the Holy Ghost will quietly testify to you in a way that is specific to you. This is how we learn truth.





I am Brooklyn Tanner, Jonathan is my husband. I am from Murray, a suburb in south Salt Lake, and fabulous Jon is from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. We met as missionaries in Matsumoto, Japan. We worked in the same ward for the very last month of Jon’s time as a missionary. We were friends there, but I never really expected to see him again. However, I came home about four months after him, just in time for his spring break trip to Arizona. He called and asked me for a ride to the airport, took me to breakfast, and now we are married! It has been my greatest joy being his wife for 300 days so far. A bit about me, I work as a family entertainer, performing a magic variety show for private events, I love pies and I am rather loud but relatively lovable all the same.


A bit about Jon, he is a studying at BYU to become a software developer. He a dog lover and a very good dish-doer. He is humble and sweet, and silly and fun to talk to, but he is best at listening intently and thoughtfully. His personality is charming and he is so loving. He is selfless and knows and acts upon his priorities. He is a hard worker and obedient to God. I am learning about the Savior through Jonathan and reading the Book of Mormon.


I feel privileged to have known Jon as a missionary, because I saw him in a place where he was working very hard to please nobody but his Heavenly Father. He really showed me the true meaning of obedience, just like the Savior did for us. Jesus Christ was obedient to God in order to accomplish his divine potential. Our divine potential is to become like Jesus Christ, which we can do by knowing his teachings, and doing as he would do. This cycle of Know, Do, Become has helped me more clearly understand the importance and joy of being obedient.


So let’s read about it in the scriptures. Please, turn with me to Alma chapter 12. For those of us who are stylishly vintage, this is on page 237 of the Book of Mormon. Here we are in the midst of the ministry of Alma and Amulek. These two are awesome. I think the mission president was very happy about this companionship. In chapter 12, they are working with a particularly difficult investigator, Zeezrom. Amulek just finished testifying about God and the purpose of Jesus Christ. Zeezrom still doesn’t understand, but is speechless, so Alma takes this opportunity to step in and give it a shot. Verse 9.


Diligence. I this that is a good synonym for obedience. We have the great blessing of being taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we accept it, and live it, we are rewarded with eternal life. Alma promises us that if we listen to the word of God, we will have more access to understanding the word of God. Let’s keep reading. Verse 14.


Ouch. Sounds a little scary. The only thing that can condemn us, that can keep us from eternal life is our own words and works. When I was younger I thought this meant God wanted to control me, and blindly follow him even though I didn’t understand very much. He is waiting to punish me if I do something wrong. But that is NOT how it is. Next verse (15). This will not do!


God is EAGER to reward us, bless us, live with us, His children. His work and glory is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life. He sent His son, to live for us and to die for us. He lived a perfect life to show us the commandments, how to be obedient. Then, He took upon Him the suffering for our sins, so redemption would be possible. He died physical and spiritual death so we would have the chance to repent when we mistake in our obedience. This is a grandiose and humble act of love. Verse 33-34.


Jesus increased in wisdom, and in stature and in favor with God and man.
Luke 2:52

Vision, Purpose and Values

In my pursuit to develop a helpful, graceful presence, I hope to develop an understanding and cultivation of charity, humor, balance, and dependability. 
Charity is pure love, the inherent desire and responsibility I believe we all have to care for one another. To have charity would be to be patient with all people, even those I have not met who seem to make the world more unkind and unproductive. I want to be able to discern the needs of those around me, and especially those under my stewardship. I want to create a family where love foundational and felt daily. I want people to come into our house, and feel good, and know they are welcome, desired, loved, able, and listened to. Listening would be a big part of it too. I want to be able to discern when to talk and when to listen, because I know I need to do more of the listening.  
Humor is adding a helpful, light-hearted perspective to mundane experiences. I absolutely adore the feeling of saying to do something that makes someone laugh. I believe there are many fine lines in humor, and potential for hurting others with it, which I want to be wary of. I want to create jokes and words that can make people laugh, and bring joy back into their day, never offending or hurting someone at the expense of a joke.  
I would love to achieve balance in my lifestyle. There are many things which are important to me, and I have a tendency to take on responsibility for many lovely things, subsequently being unable to accomplish any of those things well, since my efforts are too far stretched. Balancing food and exercise, critical and positive thinking, family and work time; I think these elements would help me develop a great sense of peace.  
The last characteristic I am focused upon is dependability. Too often people in need go unnoticed, uncared for, and unheard. I would love to be a dependable person whom people think of to call when they need a friend or a helping hand. Along with balance, I feel that dependability stems from organizing your time in a way that allows you to stop and fulfill a need when you see it, even if it is sudden or immediate.  
I hope to hone these characteristics to achieve some fabulous goals. The first accomplishment I envision is singing Christmas songs with my husband and children in our living room while I accompany us on the piano. I have always wanted to learn to play, because I feel that music strengthens my relationships and beliefs. I really want to become a mother, and create a warm, nourishing home where my children can have good memories and learn kindness. Learning to play piano is difficult, I am on my fourth attempt at starting lessons. However, I believe in practice, so if I am more diligent in my practice I believe I will be able to accomplish this goal.  
Next, I hope to become an excellent entertainer. I think at times it is difficult to find interactive entertainment one can experience with their family and hold good memories about. I currently work as a magician, and I adore performing. I have a goal to one day perform a one-woman variety show for a theatre-sized audience. I want this show to be very funny, and include magic, dance, juggling, music, and audience participation. Being able to bring this type of happiness to an audience would bring me great joy. Developing entertaining material and finding a venue to perform at is a challenge. I can overcome this by continuing to perform at my small-scale shows, improve my talents, and strive to meet people who could connect me to the right places.  
Another important goal to me is finding a way to assist humans in need with my husband. One day I hope we can leave our home, travel to a foreign place, and use our talents to teach, uplift, heal, or assist someone or a group of people. I believe one great purpose of being human is to have talents and share them with others, and this type of work would be a fulfillment of this purpose. I think it will be hard work to save up enough money to move somewhere and volunteer for an extended period. However, we can overcome this by setting priorities and budgeting modestly.  
In pursuit of a fulfilling, joyful, useful life, I will make choices based on the principles I believe to be true. The principles that appeal to me are those of love, humility, and charity taught by Jesus Christ. I love learning about what he taught by reading scripture and noting characteristics I find in others that align with his characteristics. Jesus Christ lived his life committed to helping humans understand perspective, charity, joy, and self-mastery. Therefore, I feel that involving in Christianity will help me achieve my chosen goals. 

Anthology of Desires

Dear God,
thank you for mommy and daddy thank you for a dis day please bless that I can have a little brover amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for mommy and daddy and baby sitser please bless that we will all have good dreams and be happy and know whats right, amen.

Dear God,
Thank you that I am so beautiful. Please bless that my sister wouldn't bug me so much and bless people who are poor. Please bless that it will be cheesy breadsticks at lunch tomorrow. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for this day and for the food. Bless me not to be so ugly anymore and not trip in dance so much. Please bless that McKenna and Rosie will let me play with them at recess tomorrow and bless mom that she won't be so bossy. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you that I get to go to work with my dad like every day and have so much fun. What do you want me to be when I'm like older? A magician? A writer? A mom? I think I want to be a mom. Like the best mom ever who even knows how to sew. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for the pretty sky, I really liked the nice colors during the sunset tonight. Please bless me to make some friends and not become evil in junior high. Amen.

Dear God,
I am thankful for my mom and dad and for the love in our home. Thank you that I could be in the school musical this year. Please help me know what to say when Katherine says mean stuff. Please please please please bless that Zeke will think I'm pretty and not like Katherine anymore. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for my family, and thank you for all the sunshine Aunt Shana was for me. Will you let her into heaven, even though she didn't do everything right? Will I get to see her again? Please help me to be as kind as she was. Amen.

Dear God,
Aunt Terry is in for surgery today. Please bless that the chemotherapy will work. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you that Aunt Terry beat it. Please bless Grandma to beat it too. Amen.

Dear God,
Please say hi to Grandma for me, and please bless Grandpa to feel closer to her. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for my amazing friends and cool teachers. Thank you that I finally have this great part in the school play! Why does everyone have a boyfriend besides me? Amen.

Dear God,
Please help me fall out of love with my boyfriend. Amen.

Dear God,
What a beautiful day for graduation. I can't believe it's over! Thank you for my supportive and present family. Please bless that I will understand what's next for me. It seems dark up ahead, and it feels dark inside. I don't think death would be so bad. I won't do it myself, but if you want me back, I won't be mad. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for such an exceptional sunset tonight. Every piece you have created is revitalizing and a poignant expression of love. Those clouds, vibrant and vivacious colors blended so flawlessly, a piece of art. I promise to give it all I have. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for this remarkable experience to be in this beautiful new country. It's gorgeous, and I love these people. I don't deserve this, I feel worthless. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Please, please help me understand Japanese. Please help me be useful. Amen.

Dear God,
I have been here for over a year, trying to be my best and do what is good, but I don't think I am doing anything good. Inside is a vicious war of horrible feelings. Have I done it all wrong? Have I done anything at all? I know have magic to do. But this feels poisonous. Amen.

Dear God,
I don't get it, but thank you for peace. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you so much for Jesus. I didn't realize it was Him all along, thank you. He is my joy and my song and I will praise Him forever. Amen.

Dear God,
Should I marry Tyler Rennat?

Dear God,
Should I marry Tyler Rennat?

Dear God,
Should I marry Tyler Rennat?

Dear God,
Should I marry Tyler Rennat?

Dear God,
I'm going to marry Tyler Rennat.

Dear God,
AAAH. Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you so much for sending me Tyler Rennat. I love him and now I understand family a little better and I am so excited for what is ahead. Thank you for all he has taught me. Thank you so much for the medicine that keeps my head level, thank you for my good healthy body, thank you for an education, and thank you for the mountains. Please bless Kaye Blaine to feel better. Amen.


Dear God,