I'm 18, of course I know everything.

Sometimes I go lovely places and marvel at a geographically different portion of the sky we live under. The trees are majestic and the mountains are big show offs and the air feels lighter. When the environment changes sometimes the thoughts get cleaner and deeper and extremely analytical. So I feel like I've learned another tiny piece about something  I want to be good at and am a long way from doing so. But I forgot my journal, so here's another 212 words into the sea of internet oblivion.

It's not about loving each other despite our weaknesses, it's about loving each other because of them. When they have a weakness and they're willing to show it to you, that is a rather high level of trust. They don't want the weakness, maybe they haven't even recognized it yet. But there is a good chance they are trying their best. With the trust, you have the opportunity to help them improve their character and yours by demonstrating patience, understanding, support. You are going to need it too, someday. When they have a weakness and can do good things and be happy anyway, you've chosen a good one. It always helps to have good things happen to them, however; there's another choice you can make. Don't regret your choices, what an unfortunate waste time that is. Recognize them as yours, recognize what you can't and shouldn't change. I find it in people's best interest to be happy. The person with the most power over one's happiness is himself. However, a very close second is that person they've chosen to share all of themselves with. You can make happy or you can exert contention. One is to no avail of your own happiness.
At least those are the thoughts. What do I know?

New Year, New Mascara: Nearesos, Happy & Cheese

That's about as new as twenty-fourteen me gets, and that's my satirical slam on society for the day. I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I don't make them either. Now before you write me off as a snob hipster, which you're free and probably entitled to do, read my rant since you're already here and internet-wasting time.
First, Nearesos seem impulsive. There is ALL THE MUCH going on in November and December such as recovering from Halloween's awesomeness, deciding how you feel about Christmas music, eating too much, NaNoWriMo, pretending to study for finals, frantically "shopping" for gifts even though you're broke as a joke (thanks Kate) and have no idea what your family could possibly enjoy, working ridiculous hours, deciding how to make your one party dress look different at each party, contemplating on conforming to ugly sweater day, and then shifting into quality family time mode and magically getting along with everyone. So by the time you exhale, you have approximately 29 hours to decide on your Nearesos. The ones you'll be stuck with for a whole year! An entire year of way too hard work or disappointing guilt!
This is a rather drastic viewpoint. I'm happy for and inspired by Nearesos and especially those who work hard at theirs all year long. Truly, it's just all of us trying to become better people, which I'm a definite advocate for. I'm also a fan of active goal setting and execution. So if Nearesos work for you, AWESOMEAUCITY. Go you. * I'm cheering for you! * Did you see the pom-poms? I also just did a backflip. Did you miss it? Can't believe you blinked.
Okay, I did half-cave and make sort of a "To Do List" for the year because I'm super into lists and I like activities I've never done before. Pleeease comment if you have something radical to add to my list. I'd love it if you did. Life input is the best. And I'm sort of willing to almost try anything. Hit me with your best shot. The thing with the new year is it's made up of days just like today and all the days last year. Some sun, some shine, some night, some fright. It's your day, and each one has the power to be a good one. And that makes me happy.
Not that I'm old enough to be wise, but I have so far decided that being happy is a decision, not a result of a circumstance. Stupid, sucky, lame, tragic, heart-breaking, embarrassing, hurtful and frustrating occurrences occur. No one likes that. But if you know rough and tough on any level, you know happy. We need that opposition. I'm a strong believer in being anxiously engaged in a good cause. If we're taking care of the people and earth around us, we are at least doing one thing right. If we were supposed to make our own selves happy, I think we would be living here all by ourselves. People equal an opportunity to talk, express, serve, learn, love. People make me so happy. So thank you for being a part of the people, Patient Reader-Person. You make me smile.
Another thing that makes me smile is cheese. I have truly grown to love cheese a bit more every day. I like all the cheeses I have tried excluding cottage, American and blue. Cheese is simply one of those beautiful, scrumptious, versatile, guilt-ridden but completely satisfying life joys. My favorite kind of cheese is Havarti, and I can always go for some classic cheddar. There are probably way too many kinds I have not tried, but I'm totally willing. Come at me, cheeses. Cheese has been my favorite food for about eighteen years, five months and nine days now. I love cheese.
Too bad there's no "ignore call" button on lactose intolerance.

All the Questions Before THE Question

I think marriage is just about the most permanent decision I will make in my life. So, important, yeah? Don't worry non-existent audience, I'm not engaged, or close to engaged, or even super appealing at the moment. But seeing as marriage is an eternal deal, I've recently been compiling a list of questions I want to ask my significant other prior to the popping of the question. Because questions are good and typically enlightening, or at least thought provoking. Some of these questions will be rhetorical and observatory. True, this list should probably stay in the journal, but there is a reason for the publicity thereof. If anyone IS actually reading this, and more miraculously reading this while MARRIED, please comment any questions you find necessary to ask before commitment as well. Life's a beautiful moment. Much love, Brooklyn Bridget.

1.  How many children do you see your family with?
2.  How quick is your temper?
3. Do you yell when you're upset?
4.  How well do you compromise?
5. Are you the type of person I want my son to become?
6. Am I the type of person you want your daughter to become?
7. Do you think I'm funny?
8. Do you laugh at 85% of my jokes anyway?
9. How often do you like to attend the temple?
10. What is your definition of verbal and physical abuse?
11. Are you cool with our kids being involved in violent video games?
12. Will you sit through and attempt to enjoy numerous plays, symphonies, museums, etc. with me?
13. How would your react if our son or daughter came out as gay?
14. How do you feel about show business?
15. Do you like hiking and camping?
16. Does your mood change according to the seasons?
17. Would you marry me if we disagreed religiously?
18. Where do you want to live?
19. Are you willing to live in a foreign country?
20. Would you want to go on a mission when we're old?
21. Are you a good listener?
22. Am I even slightly appealing in sweats?
23. Do you think bringing me flowers is pointless?
24. Are you consistently a gentleman?
25. Can you understand sarcasm?
26. What is magic?
27. What are your educational expectations for our children?
28. Should we pay for our kids' missions?
29. Should we pay for our kids' college education?
30. Are you super competitive?
31. Are you a good sport?
32. How clean do you like to keep the house?
33. Harry Potter.
34. Would you be willing to participate in Family Home Evening every week?
35. What's your ideal wake up hour?
36. Is music in the home important?
37. How strict do you want to be on media censorship?

Okay so maybe I'm crazy. As if we haven't established that already. This list is to be continued, so feel free to add on in the comments below.

Happy This Day

I think you have to write when you're sick, otherwise you just think about how miserable your body feels, subsequently telling your brain to find something deeper to be sad about. But your body is just having a silly moment, reminding you to be grateful when you are healthy and even happy you're not much more sick than you are. I wish I could go outside and peak at the moon, a good friend of mine. I'll add a picture tomorrow when a bunch of cool photographers have posted them.
"Oh moon, whose nook and cranny doth shine so bright."
I have no idea what that's from. Or if it's really from something. My daddy always says it, and I love him. I kind of always thought it was in A Midsummer Night's Dream, but I don't think so. Maybe. I

don't know. Anyway, Happy Summer Solstice! (Nearly twelve hours ago). Sorry about the improper paren punctuation. Also, fragments. Solstice is sort of a small special thing to me, it warms and races a big part of my heart. What a magical show-off moment for the sky. I'm going to do the whole hooplah crazy solstice affair one of these years, track the sun's path and admire the moon for hours and all. Sometime when I decide not to be so pompously busy. I'm not even that busy, but it feels like it because I make myself so tired and there are so many things that are undone.
I love art, I love show people, I love you, definitely. I'm going to do it, I'm going to find a way to perform for the rest of my life. After a whole three days of trying to convince myself that it's just a hobby, kissing it goodbye just won't do. There's a passion there with a heart of its own. But I think it's mine. So I'll be dancing, smiling. For whatever audience needs me.
Or will have enough patience to take me.
(Pretentious wink)

Thoughts.

If things were different,  everything would be different.  No one really knows what another is thinking. You might know all your thoughts, but you probably don't know how to express them thoroughly. At least I don't. Words are usually good, if you can find the proper ones. I bet there's a perfect word for everything we feel, we just don't know them all yet. I certainly don't know quite how to write yet. Words are good.
But if we don't use words we do use other things.  No words is a thing. Logically, no words might mean no thoughts. But it probably means a lot of thoughts. It usually means a lot of thoughts. Thoughts you can't write, thoughts you don't know how to write, thoughts you don't believe, thoughts you really don't want to be thinking. Thoughts completely and constantly quarreling with each other. Thoughts that come and never go.
There's also bodies. Hitting, something we shouldn't do. Hugs, something we should do more. Sex. Hand holding, hand shakes.  The way you shake someone's hand. Eye contact,  the lack thereof. Complete conversations solely with the eyes. All conveyors of thought. But we'll never really get the whole picture.
In this life at least. Not many ever really intend to offend. I don't. But no one likes being offended. It isn't kind to attack, or offend, to assume. Mistakes are interesting, typically the result of thought. Or the lack thereof. I've made many mistakes. I will continue to. Luckily that's how we grow, if we choose to learn. I do not consider any type of relationship I've ever had a mistake. Mistake sounds so subtle.  Like it isn't much, blithe, almost. Litotes, in my mind. Just thoughts.
There will always be love.

Time

It's interesting to me how we measure things in dates, such as events. It's not necessarily weird. Not that we could all agree on a precise definition of "weird." Or "normal" for that matter. Anyway, it isn't too out of the ordinary to measure in dates, it's quite universal, actually. But we do allow it to affect us.
"It's been (x) amount of years since I arrived on the planet, we should throw a party!"
"We've been waiting here for hours."
"You have three days to pay that off."
"It's been one month since it happened."
Once we defined time, it began to define us. Now I like very much when people are on time, and I do try to make it a point to be punctual myself. It's amazing how we are so connected to time through our whole lives that it can actually trigger particular emotions. Only a limited amount of items can really do that. Almost all of them have to do with the five senses. Time affects the anxiety in all of us, whether it be low, happy, or excited; or stressed, depressed, upset.
Interesting.
Time can heal and time can destroy, but I think when we hope and work for the best we'll end up with the best. Eventually.

Anger

Don't be angry. At least try really, really, really hard not to be. Don't be angry or anything representative of angry. And if you've tried to be everything but angry and you're still angry...then I think you can be angry, but n0t at who made you angry, and especially not at those who didn't make you angry that have to constantly be around you. Because I don't think anger really fixes anything. Honesty does, though. But I think if you try hard enough you can be honest without being angry.
You should always be fully honest, but honesty should be consistently accompanied by solicitation. Relationships need honestly, they must and absolutely have it. That applies to any relationship you care about in any minute way. Obviously, you should be honest daily and regularly to your significant other if you have one. And if you don't, a lot of people around you or people you meet could become you significant other someday, so starting off any relationship with honesty will give advantage down the road. I also believe we should be honest with our families, since they are most likely the people we are around most often and for the longest time in our lives. Even eternity, if you like that. For a relationship that lasts an eternity, I think I'd like it to be honest. And friends. Friends are nice, and friends are good. They are a blessing and we should cherish them with honesty. Even enemies, if you have one, we should be honest with them. Again, we shouldn't say anything angry, but we should say things that are productive, encouraging, increasing of understanding, and of good report. And of course, sometimes the best way to be honestly kind is stay quiet and do something else good.
So back to anger. People will make you angry. At some point, I think we have to admit that. People are angering, and sometimes it may even appear that they are angering more of the time than not. The reasoning behind this is, unfortunately, that they are people. People are imperfect and whoever created them made them that way by allowing them to make choices. However, this also allows them the opportunity to grow, which is rather beautiful. So just try to remember that you're a person too. You probably wouldn't prefer anger spewed upon you, nor does anyone else. Most people aren't making you angry on purpose. And if they are, that's silly, but being angry back won't fix it. So again, try being something different, and if that does it work, find your way that healthily lets it out. For some it's working out, but that's not me, because I like donuts. If you believe in God, let Him know how you're feeling. He already knows, but when you tell Him yourself it strengthens your father-child relationship  with Him, and He does want to help you. He's probably just waiting for you to ask for it, because when you desire, ask, and work it for it, the blessing feels personal and much more helpful. If deity isn't your thing, writing can be good. But don't force yourself to write if you really don't want to. That might make you more angry. Anger doesn't feel good and you don't want it affecting those you love. Try not to be angry. Be loving and do things you love. Love is miraculous.
However, I can't tell you what to do. Whoever "you" are. It's just a thought, and I think that's what blogs are for, thoughts not facts.
Maybe this one should have stayed in the journal.

Cheez-Its

I don't like them, at all really. I love cheese and to me they don't taste like cheese. They taste like machine. And the fact that you can see those giant salt molecules, not to mention the perfect divots surrounding the border. I mean, they're okay I guess, I like snack foods and it's in the family, so they're tolerable, but not delicious or particularly recommended by myself. Ironically enough, my lovely mother (who I do love, lovingly. Please refer to previous post) purchased about the largest box I've ever seen of them this weekend. And I've been eating them compulsively. It's all very representative. Which is...silly. Everything's fine, will be fine. My life is lovely, and as someone I love and admire very must taught me today, Nothing Is Wasted. Pain is for joy to grow. I believe, and I trust. And I love, very much.
Hello Today, can't wait to see you, Tomorrow.

A Brand New Year!

Hello! One of my favorite words. So, welcome to 2013. Actually, it's already May. Sorry for the eight-month abandonment, invisible audience, I know you're non-existently disappointed. Don't worry, Harry Potter is still the Bee's Knees. I may even post one of my favorites pics in honor of its magical radicality. It's a word now. One of my favorites. Shelby blogs now, which is probably why I'm finally writing another boring post.
I've learned a lot about love lately. I still don't know very much. But I know that it will always be a part of everyone, because everyone either loves or is loved or both. No escaping the love. Embrace the love! Share the love. Peace, Love. All you need is love! Cry over the love. Cry over the love because you don't have it how you want it. But chances are you have it how you need it.
I'm also graduating high school quite imminently! Which also qualifies me as knowing next-to-nothing about love. I was also a sophomore once. HA! I still act like one sometimes, on fair occasion. I say fair because in theatre-drama-competition-festivals (it's a real thing) "Fair" means you shouldn't have even shown up. Sometimes I do miss being a freshie, having plenty of time to do nothing but blog and dance. And EAT. Which I still make ample time for, don't you worry. Looking at sophomore videos or poems is so overwhelmingly comical. I think I actually thought I might become cool someday. LAWLS (That's Teag-Speak for LOL, which I'm not actually doing soooo lawls). Good thing I came to reality on theatre-kid-ness and loved the rest of the most of high school very much. College will be exciting, thus I am excited. I'm making this documentary that may or may not be finished someday. So I think I'll go to work on that until I find another insomnia-condusive activity to do. The Tempest is too rad. One of my all-time favorites. I have a lot of favorites. You're probably one of them.
I can't believe he almost cried.