On Disaster

There is nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -Shakespeare


Late August 2017, Harvey has finally resigned, Maria is on her way, and Irma was in full angry force. Residents of Florida anticipate the impending disaster. In the slow-motion blink of an eye, Hurricane Irma devoured 134 fatalities during her 65 billion-dollar tantrum. Images of damaged homes, slaughtered sights where homes used to be, and hundreds of people, suddenly thrust into survival mode, these images took over the big and small screens of Americans for two months. 180 mph winds will blow more than your mind. What we cannot count are the tears, the favorite blankets lost, the words spoken at funerals, the hugs, the prayers, the hands that helped.

Surely, disaster invokes a reaction. Shock, horror, flee, fight, sadness, anger, devastation. Moments of speechlessness and anger because there is nobody to be angry at. No one to punish. However, disaster also invokes action. Neighbors and nearby acquaintances now share a commonality. They are one in heart because of loss. They help each other, they clean up, they hug and mourn for the dead, and for the lost. Residents near and far flood in as well, hoping to help make a dent in the clean-up.
Here in Utah, we cannot feel the pelting rain, the flooded streets. But we see something like that, try to imagine what it would be like, and sympathize. Maybe we empathize, if we have lost someone we love. We pray, we donate, and we send messages of support, love, attempt at understanding. Thanks to the internet, we can instantaneously have updated information. Donation sites are all over our social media feeds, email inboxes, and televisions. The Red Cross raised enough money to feed well over a million meals to victims and send 52,000 health care workers to care for the Floridians. These efforts do not completely meet all the needs, and they don't take away the pain of a hurricane.

However, in a hurricane, we are not freshman and seniors. We are not atheists and Christians. We are not angry liberals or egotistical conservatives, we are humans. The innate culture of the human is to love. We love one another, motivate one another, and have the power to heal one another. Ethos, pathos and logos, are fired up in our souls in disaster. We feel obligated to help, especially if we are not the ones hurting. We feel that sympathy and empathy, pain for the pain someone else holds. And in our minds, it makes sense that we should help. If one house falls, seldom do all the members of other, standing houses stay in, lock their doors, and watch curiously as their neighbor rebuilds the wreckage. We run, we hug, we post, we pray, we pay, we work, we apologize, we try, we love.

Natural disaster is not the only moment in which our culture of unconditional love is activated. We come together in artificial disasters, too! Moments of silence for those lost in horrible acts of violence, and loud protests when injustice is evident. The "news" is not so new anymore, daily we are confronted with the sadness, horror, and anger of those trying to destroy love. Disaster is not always widespread or news-worthy either. Sometimes the world disaster is the small disaster going on in someone's world.
To the sixteen-year-old who just broke up with her first love, life is a disaster. To the clinically depressed college student whom it pains to start another day, life is a disaster. To the single mom coming up short, to the widower missing his companion, to the comedian trying to make it, to the couple buried in debt. Each human has their moments of disaster in which time is frozen and the future seems dark. Comparison will kill validity, but truly, we each deserve love when disaster bursts into our hearts. As these humans, we will never all agree, but again, we can love.

Love is a word, which speaks a life-sustaining language. These kinds of words are used to communicate meaning, suffering, love, or goals. This language continues in conversation in order to eventually improve one's quality of life and capacity for understanding. Life-sustaining language, loving words which give hope for a sunrise in a fitful, dark night. Hope is a most difficult choice, but the ability to hold onto hope is stronger when surrounded by hopeful, loving friends. A hope, a prayer, love: these are very small beams of light which can only be turned on with sincerity. One beam may be small and dismissible, but when rallies of hearts full of hope, numerous prayers, and outpouring of love arrive, an enormous spotlight is available to warm the wounded and light the way for perseverance.

Love is a touch, a hug, or hand held, to transmit comfort from the depth of the soul, through the heart, blood, and sensory receptors to the sensitive skin of the victim. Humans need touch like they need water, but we do not know that, because touch isn't sent with toothbrushes and soap in care packages. A welcome and well-intended physical touch alleviates the emotional pain for a small moment, a small step toward recovery. It is the universal language which strengthens the friendship for the moment and sometimes forever.

Love is a hot meal. Love is using your hands or hard-earned money to provide enjoyable, comforting food for your friend who lost her soccer game or lost her house. Good food shared with friend is bonding and uplifting. The use of this and any talent to love one another is our great responsibility as a human family. The thing you are good at is not an accident, it is stewardship. These gifts are those which are to be lovingly and freely given to each other. We need the songs others can sing, the cake others can bake, and the strong arms others can provide.

Love is not pride. Love is removing our biases, our preconceived notions, our assumptions, our lies, our walls, our obsessions, our idleness, our worries, our lipstick, our comfort, whatever is necessary to provide help. Love is the desire to give, not the desire to receive a reward for giving. Love is recognizing that you and he both came out of the womb wailing and helpless. Love is remembering to lend your heart when the wailing and helplessness resurfaces.


Perhaps love is all we can hold in the eye of a storm. No hurricane can drown it, no gun can obliterate it, no disease can infect it. Only we, the humans, the souls, can destroy it. It is the power within us that initiates and harbors love, and from there it is inevitably felt. Love can be freely given, freely received. Our human culture is bonded by porous hearts. Love is activated and spread by these difficult and tearful times. Thanks be to God for difficult days.

Getting the Part of Mrs. Tanner

Every girl needs to tell her cheesy story while flailing her hands around and squealing, so here's the transcript of how Jon and I decided to get married and stuff if you'd like to read it. 

July 2015 - First Met
As a missionary for the LDS church in the Japan, I first met Elder Tanner (code name: Jon Tanner) at a conference in Fukutoku, Japan, where we were welcomed our new mission president. We shook hands and ate delicious lunch with 145 other missionaries!

For six weeks, Jon and I both worked in the Matsumoto Branch in November 2015. We were good friends there (riiiight, "friends" ;) [no really, just friends who both had not great haircuts] uh huh, sure), and it was a little sad to say Goodbye to him, just like every elder and sister who goes home. However, I did not expect to see him again.

The following January, as a junior at BYU, he emailed me with a couple updates about "real" life, and how much better it is to be in missionary life. We exchanged a few mission experiences, and a month after I had returned, he called and asked me out to breakfast. Because, you know, he was going to the SLC Airport anyway, so why not?

#appropriateboundaries

April 20, 2016 - First Date
When he came to pick me up, my parents where instantly gawking at his handsomeness, telling me that I really scored. Which I failed to notice right away, as far as I was concerned, his first name was still "Elder."
We enjoyed French toast at Kneaders with a surprisingly comfortable conversation to go along with it (nervous?? I'm not nervous. I just can't remember how to speak English, that's all).
The date lasted a record-breaking 53 minutes before he was on the plane to visit his new niece in Arizona (I'm starting to think you just wanted a ride to the airport).

All the pictures of our first few dates are just of Jon, because if you take together that's when you're official, right?

May 3, 2016 - It's official
After his cousin, Ellis' wedding reception at the Utah state capitol, we sat on the bench above the hill looking over the city.
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Okay."
(Ten minutes later)
*Rolls down car window*
"I'M DATING TON JANNER!!!!!
Uuuuhh...Kkkkkkk...
Jon Tanner!
..."

See?

July 4, 2016 - The "L" Word

We were on his sister's porch in Arizona, and I was standing on a big rock so I could actually see his eyes.  Who wouldn't melt in those gorgeous, endless barrels of root beer?

 We took the weekend to visit his family in Arizona, which was marvelous, since I hadn't met his siblings yet. They're all really fantastic. 

Falling in love with Jon was very simple and joyful, but definitely a decision. I had been pondering what I was feeling for a few weeks, and when he said it to me, sincerely but allegedly on a whim, my heart exploded (no fireworks necessary) and I knew I loved him too (sorry about the layer of cheese you have to peel off your eyes after reading that). 

Arizona was too hot and Jon's fan was too cool to handle!

pssst hiden mesej 2 jon i love you

October 29, 2016 - Hm, what question?

Every girl has her outfit regrets, but did I have to blow it on the day I got ENGAGED? Luckily boys don't care what you wear very much as long as you smell like a human (seriously, how do we spend so much time praying over which jeans to wear?!). 

I was wearing a very cute red dress all day, because I had a magic show and Jon was nice enough to come watch and carry all my things. Afterwards, we rushed to my mom's family's Halloween party (debuting our creative hero costume of "Super Late"). After the party, we had planned to go Wal-Mart to pick up some things I needed, which I tried to cancel since I was tired, but Jon insisted.  

 Everyone has those pants you wear to Wal-Mart, hoping you don't see anyone you know. It was my unfortunate decision to wear this unflattering pair of Old Faithfuls. When he turned right on the freeway toward downtown instead of left towards the store, my fashionable pride cried by my heart started throwing a party. 

After a beautiful walk around the hill above my favorite city lights, Jon had a lot of beautiful words to say and then was down on one knee. I think the residents all the way in Draper heard me say YES.

Bonus points: same shirt he wore on our first date.
Not pictured: baggy old Wal-mart pants which are now my favorite.

January 31, 2017; 10:35 a.m. - Time and All Eternity

Which is waaay longer than any Netflix series I've ever binged through. Our wedding day was truly the happiest of my life. The day my life became ours and I vowed to love Jon forever and never wear a corset again. We were married in the Salt Lake City Temple, because that was the goal we had worked for all our short lives. We knew God's temple is where you find lasting peace, joy, love, and knowledge. I married Jonathan Tanner and I'm super psyched pumped totemo ecstatic about it! He is kind, motivating, fun, and loyal. I love you Mr.! I look forward to more notable dates to come. 

Marriage is awesome. Not perfect. Perfectly awesome.

Below is our fabulous wedding video, created my the phenomenal Olivia Hamrick! I am immensely grateful to Olivia and each of our beloved friends and family member that made our day dreams come true on our favorite day!

 

The Ordinary Extra

Ah, the Pirouette Club dance recital. Toddlers and tutus and tantrums, oh my!  Semi-annual events give me a that consistent, nostalgic tool to string my days together and reflect on changes and blessings. Today, at this dance recital, I am engaged to the man of my daydreams and evening prayers, Jon. At the last dance recital, we had been dating for a whopping three days! At the recital before that, we were both missionaries in Matsumoto, Japan. And at the recital before that, we hadn't even met yet.

I wonder how if God measures His time. I suppose it's all one eternal round for Him! I am grateful for the piece of that He has given me to have a body and a fantastic family and meet Jon and learn the mysteries of His universe. I am also grateful He gave me a mom to teach me to dance.

Do You Want to Be Friends Again?

Me, Teagan, Alyssa. Two of my best friends, the day Teag got her mission call.

This weekend I was doing a show at a seven-year-old's birthday party, and as I was setting up, I noticed the middle of a scene. Two of the party guests seem to have a minor quarrel, which ended in "Fine!" from the first girl and "FINE!" from the one talking with her. I'm not sure what happened, but that second grade drama is serious stuff, as many of you know. As the show went on, they laughed and had a good time but did not sit by or talk to one another. At the end, all the kids sit in a circle to meet and pet the rabbit. Bitter Girl tried picking up the rabbit and stumbled with how to hold it. Ex-friend immediately (out of habit, I infer)  helped her and showed her how. They paused and (no longer) Bitter Girl said "Do you want to be friends again?" And Helper/Healer Girl said, "Yeah, let's do it."
And bam.
Besties again.

How easy was it for these two girls to forget about what was bothering them, stop judging one another, and simply cater to one another's needs and decide to be in good company? It was like they squirted a bottle of friendship in each other's faces.
*spray*
Yeah, let's do it. Then they were cool. Not judging is hard. Being kind to everyone is harder. However, this is what we were made to do, what we can thrive in, and what we can continually have success doing. We "naturally" judge each book cover we see. We linger on the ones that seem colorful and interesting, we read the summary of the ones with intriguing titles, and we delve into the ones we love with all our hearts.
There may not be time to read every book out there, but there is time to give each book the care it deserves. Books are not to be thrown, stomped on, torn up, soaked or spilled on, neglected or left out of place. An author created that book, with passionate ideas and great potential in mind. You may not have time to read the story, but please have respect for the artistic, divine value and wonderful potential the author designed this book to have.
Everyone comes with a great story, and different wonderful elements. One may have flawless word choice (or good leadership skills) or enticing descriptions (or a lovely singing voice). Everyone will also have a sentence fragment, a missing page or maybe a rough introduction. But can't we step back, take a little breath, and smile long enough to notice the many masterpieces we have among us? Yes, we "naturally" judge each book cover we see. We also "naturally" each have the light of Christ in us. Intrinsically. Dutifully. You deserve to be cared for and read carefully, so please treat your fellow shelf mates similarly.
Please be kind to people.

I'm 18, of course I know everything.

Sometimes I go lovely places and marvel at a geographically different portion of the sky we live under. The trees are majestic and the mountains are big show offs and the air feels lighter. When the environment changes sometimes the thoughts get cleaner and deeper and extremely analytical. So I feel like I've learned another tiny piece about something  I want to be good at and am a long way from doing so. But I forgot my journal, so here's another 212 words into the sea of internet oblivion.

It's not about loving each other despite our weaknesses, it's about loving each other because of them. When they have a weakness and they're willing to show it to you, that is a rather high level of trust. They don't want the weakness, maybe they haven't even recognized it yet. But there is a good chance they are trying their best. With the trust, you have the opportunity to help them improve their character and yours by demonstrating patience, understanding, support. You are going to need it too, someday. When they have a weakness and can do good things and be happy anyway, you've chosen a good one. It always helps to have good things happen to them, however; there's another choice you can make. Don't regret your choices, what an unfortunate waste time that is. Recognize them as yours, recognize what you can't and shouldn't change. I find it in people's best interest to be happy. The person with the most power over one's happiness is himself. However, a very close second is that person they've chosen to share all of themselves with. You can make happy or you can exert contention. One is to no avail of your own happiness.
At least those are the thoughts. What do I know?

"What the Hell is Religion?"

A Reflection of my Religion 101 Class, with a rather pretentious but honest-as-possible ending.

As soon as I started registration for college, I asked the counselor if there was a Religions of the World class. I was eager to take it because I plan on serving an LDS mission in the fall. I wanted to know as much as I possibly could about what other people were thinking before I went out and told them my way was better. The two most memorable phrases Dr. Anderson has ever said to me came on the first day of class. First, “What the hell is Religion?” I thought it was witty and ironic, and I liked to think I understood witty humor and was cool enough to nod in comprehensive laughter. 

Religion is a system comprised of people with similar belief, with rituals to enact those beliefs. Religion is a community, a therapist, and an inspiration. Religion is controlling, violent, and destructive. These are all things Religion can be, and have been. Learning about all these denominations and connecting them to real people has been impactful for me. Seeing the sacred value of family in Shintoism is so beautiful, something that wouldn’t be as significant without the religion. Then, seeing the violent, even murderous rites of passage and rituals in other religions shocked me and broke my heart. But that’s something about humans I learned. We have incredible, extreme capabilities when motivated by fear, love, or family. 

A lot of religion is about perspective. In learning about all these religions, I see that our actions are totally dependent on our situation and even beliefs about consequences. That brings me to Professor Anderson’s next little quotation. “If you no one, you know none.” This one really smacked me in the face and reiterated why I was there all throughout the course. If you’re happy 100% of the time, and never sad, you aren’t really happy, you just are. The opposition is necessary. Opposition is also necessary in knowledge. To know what a prime number is, you also need to know what it isn’t. This especially became significant when we discussed Religion’s role in the world. 

If I put on the close-minded, Mormon girl bubble glasses, I’m not going to think very highly of other people, and especially other Religions. This class has influenced my view of Religion by enhancing my perspective of people. People like certainty, and I think that is one thing Religion does really well for some people. Death is the one thing that happens to everybody that nobody knows everything about. When searching for a Religion (if they have the opportunity to do so) they may go with the one that gives them the best feeling and most satisfying answers. 

Most people are also essentially obligated toward family in some way. In families all around the world, Religion is absolutely foundational.  Religion can guide many significant stages of life, such as birth, puberty, marriage, death, and many in-betweens.

      More than anything, my Religions of the World class has confirmed and clarified by desire to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am very young, not very smart, inexperienced and probably still rather naive. However, now I know I believe what I do because I personally want to and feel very happy about it. I can honestly say I have a respect for all other people and their way of life, because my way of life isn’t the only one. I would love to share the Church’s message with anyone with a desire and willingness. Religion, as illustrated by history, has enormous capabilities; which means people have them. I’m happy and grateful to be able to choose what I am a part of. I hope, someday, everyone feels like that have been able to do that, too.

Magic Words

Introduction

Hello! Today, I’m going to invite you to say the magic words! Now what are the magic words? Different magicians may disagree. I can tell you what they are not: “You’re ugly! You have too much acne, You’re not smart enough, you can’t do that, You eat too much, I don’t like you, and that means nobody likes you.” Now of course I didn’t mean any of those words, but they were hurtful ones weren’t they? And they would probably hurt just as much if you read them in a Facebook message. 

Today I’m here to let you know that Cyber Bullying is a real issue, how we fix it, and the small and easy thing you can do to help just by staying right there in your seat.

1. Bullying has to do with opportunity. Where there is a means of communication there is possibility for attack. Multiple studies have been conducted recently to verify the reality of cyber bullying, and how its affecting people, especially between the ages of 13 and 17. This statement from a study done by Xiao and Wong identifies and confirms the problem:

“The Internet (which confers anonymity in communication) has provided an ideal platform…to perpetrate such relational/verbal aggression as spreading rumors, excluding someone from their social network, and sending harassing messages.” (Xiao, and Wong 34-69)

They’re right, just like it’s easier to ask that cute girl out by sending her a text message, it’s easier for adolescents to become bullies behind the safety of their screen. In Xiao’s study, we learn that there are direct links with cyber bullying to poor academic performance, impaired family relationships, and even suicide. Now we’ve heard this before, but try putting a face to the reality. My sister is 14 years old. She’s beautiful, a great cook and a wonderful dancer. If she felt like she needed to end her life because of constant jokes make about her online, I would be absolutely devastated. Let’s watch this video to  understand a little more.

2. Cyber bullying is not an inevitable practice. It can be stopped, and it needs to be stopped. The first solution is to go where kids are almost as affected as they are online— school. 

This is from a study connecting cyber behavior to school behavior by Melissa Ockerman: “The American School Counselor Association's (ASCA) position statement regarding this topic states professional school counselors can spearhead training programs that include recognition of early warning signs of violence, prevention/intervention services, crisis response, appropriate use of technology and social media, community involvement, and parent/guardian and faculty/staff educationally.” (Ockerman)

Of course this sounds like the assemblies you dreaded as a kid, but this really works. An alteration in behavior begins with information. If students are consistently aware of a serious problem, they will try and help prevent it. And if resources like therapeutic counselors are available, these kids can get the help they need instead of taking drastic measures. 

3. So hooray for schools, we can support that from afar, and if and when we have children, we can get in that PTA and make sure the appropriate resources are in place. However, what about today? Here’s what you can do today to stop cyber bullying. Think about what you’re posting, retweeting, liking and sharing. If the vibe you are sending is offensive, destructive, or hurtful, stop. Find something kind to say, because the world could always use a little sunshine. 

The other important thing you can do is open your laptop right now, and type in this web address. www.DeleteCyberBullying.org is a website working really hard to eliminate the problem and obviously, they need our help. On the left hand sign you can click to sign a petition and promise never to cyber bully. It might seem like a nuisance, but your promising word is worth something, and so are your words. 

Conclusion

Monitoring our own behavior online is essential, and must be done immediately, because cyber bullying is real, and destructive. Obviously, magic words are not the ones that belittle, insult, or make fun of. So don’t be afraid to stand out in the middle a little, because real magic, is KINDNESS.

References

Xiao, Bo Sophia, and Yee Man Wong. "Cyber-Bullying Among University Students: An Empirical Investigation from the Social Cognitive Perspective." International Journal of Business and Information. 8.1 (2013): 34-69. Web. 6 Apr. 2014.

Ockerman, Melissa S. "From the School Yard to Cyber Space: A Pilot Study of Bullying Behaviors Among Middle School Students ." Research in Middle Level Education Online. 37.6 (2013): n. page. Web. 6 Apr. 2014.

Delete Cyberbullying, prod. Talent Show - Cyberbullying Prevention Commercial. Ohio Commission DRCM, 2008. Web. 7 Apr 2014.

New Year, New Mascara: Nearesos, Happy & Cheese

That's about as new as twenty-fourteen me gets, and that's my satirical slam on society for the day. I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I don't make them either. Now before you write me off as a snob hipster, which you're free and probably entitled to do, read my rant since you're already here and internet-wasting time.
First, Nearesos seem impulsive. There is ALL THE MUCH going on in November and December such as recovering from Halloween's awesomeness, deciding how you feel about Christmas music, eating too much, NaNoWriMo, pretending to study for finals, frantically "shopping" for gifts even though you're broke as a joke (thanks Kate) and have no idea what your family could possibly enjoy, working ridiculous hours, deciding how to make your one party dress look different at each party, contemplating on conforming to ugly sweater day, and then shifting into quality family time mode and magically getting along with everyone. So by the time you exhale, you have approximately 29 hours to decide on your Nearesos. The ones you'll be stuck with for a whole year! An entire year of way too hard work or disappointing guilt!
This is a rather drastic viewpoint. I'm happy for and inspired by Nearesos and especially those who work hard at theirs all year long. Truly, it's just all of us trying to become better people, which I'm a definite advocate for. I'm also a fan of active goal setting and execution. So if Nearesos work for you, AWESOMEAUCITY. Go you. * I'm cheering for you! * Did you see the pom-poms? I also just did a backflip. Did you miss it? Can't believe you blinked.
Okay, I did half-cave and make sort of a "To Do List" for the year because I'm super into lists and I like activities I've never done before. Pleeease comment if you have something radical to add to my list. I'd love it if you did. Life input is the best. And I'm sort of willing to almost try anything. Hit me with your best shot. The thing with the new year is it's made up of days just like today and all the days last year. Some sun, some shine, some night, some fright. It's your day, and each one has the power to be a good one. And that makes me happy.
Not that I'm old enough to be wise, but I have so far decided that being happy is a decision, not a result of a circumstance. Stupid, sucky, lame, tragic, heart-breaking, embarrassing, hurtful and frustrating occurrences occur. No one likes that. But if you know rough and tough on any level, you know happy. We need that opposition. I'm a strong believer in being anxiously engaged in a good cause. If we're taking care of the people and earth around us, we are at least doing one thing right. If we were supposed to make our own selves happy, I think we would be living here all by ourselves. People equal an opportunity to talk, express, serve, learn, love. People make me so happy. So thank you for being a part of the people, Patient Reader-Person. You make me smile.
Another thing that makes me smile is cheese. I have truly grown to love cheese a bit more every day. I like all the cheeses I have tried excluding cottage, American and blue. Cheese is simply one of those beautiful, scrumptious, versatile, guilt-ridden but completely satisfying life joys. My favorite kind of cheese is Havarti, and I can always go for some classic cheddar. There are probably way too many kinds I have not tried, but I'm totally willing. Come at me, cheeses. Cheese has been my favorite food for about eighteen years, five months and nine days now. I love cheese.
Too bad there's no "ignore call" button on lactose intolerance.

Once Upon A Time, There Was Winter

Art has this incredible ability to tell a story. Whatever form, size, location, or audience it is in, there is some type of story behind it, be it short and silly or emotional and long. When Antonio Vivaldi composed The Four Seasons, he was able to capture two forms of art, music and poetry,  and bring them in to his own. He saw the artistic beauty of nature, and the dramatic way it affects our lives. Secondly, he saw significance in descriptive poetry and transposed the images into music. The first movement of the “Winter” Concerto perfectly personifies the perils of winter with an energetic melody, strong harmony, and thick texture. 

The movement begins with a rather daunting suspense. Just like the feeling of winter approaching, you know something new and chilly is coming. The notes make you shiver, as frost nipping you on the ears. Overall, the melody is consistent, creating a full and complete feeling for the piece. The movement maintains a similar timbre all the way through. However, it does contain sudden bursts of energy to surprise the listener every once in a while. 

The melody reflects the text of the poem: “To run stamping one’s feet at every step / With one’s teeth chattering through the cold.” The tempo correlates to the rhythm of these steps and the shrill melody sends icy snowflakes throughout the body.

Aside from the vivid storytelling which is occurring, the dramatic harmonies in the “Winter” first movement are my favorite. Like winter weather or activities, there are multiple ideas occurring in this piece. The deeper, bass-like instruments create the 

stirring, theatrical darkness and intensity of winter whilst the violin parts conjure up the frenzied flurries of instrumental sections. Although separate, the two parts work beautifully to create a harmony. 

The melody and harmony fully contribute to the thick texture present in this movement. There are many levels we go through as listeners, including suspense, and explosions of energy. The harmonies create the thickness we feel trudging through a winter storm, looking for home and solace. The texture also mirrors a dark, yet exciting timbre. The timbre of the violin is what gives the listener the winter anxiety or perhaps energetic anticipation. 

In composing The Four Seasons, Vivaldi created something that we all experience, simply by living on the earth. We can relate to and understand the feelings portrayed in each movement because we have seen, felt and been through them ourselves. I love the “Winter” concerto because it perfectly encompasses my favorite season. In it, I feel all the sensations I do during the holidays: anticipation, joy, bursts of stress, intense emotion, and of course the cold. Aristotle was certainly correct in stating, “Art takes nature as its model. Art not only imitates nature, but also completes its deficiencies.”

NanoThankYou - Oops.

So. In true Brooklyn fashion, I committed to a project, started it a day late, made it look like I was going strong complete with pictures, and then waited until the morning it was due to finish it. Yay. Therefore, if any of you invisible audience members were looking forward to reading all my Thank You chapters, you should seek a new hobby. NO. I joke, I mean I'm sorry. Sorry. It's crazy to think I'm so blessed that I won't even be able to list MOST of the things I'm grateful for. I present, Chapter 3-28: Abridged.

3. Dear J.K. Rowling, thank you for the magical world my heart calls second home, and for creating a story about real magic. Love, Brooklyn.

4. Dear 1970s Clariol Kindness Hot Rollers, thanks for being there daily to calm the storm. Love, Brooklyn.

5. Dear Musical Theatre, Thank you for making my mornings theatrical,  letting me dance through high school, and making me cry at the gym. Love, Brooklyn.

6. Dear Clocks, thank you for giving me someone to look at when I feel like I should be panicking. Love, Brooklyn.

7. Dear Daddy, thank you for teaching me real magic and just about everything I know. Also, for being my very best friend.  Love, Brooklyn.

8. Dear Missionaries, thank you for embarking on the most wonderful and challenging adventure ever. I can't wait to join you. Love, Brooklyn.

9.  Dear Mr. Saxton, thank you for high school, and for letting me know the infinite importance of King Story. Love, Brooklyn.

10. Dear Ballet, thank you for giving me roots and passion. Love, Brooklyn.

11. Dear Pippin, thank you for happening. Love, Brooklyn.

12. Dear Fish, thank you for being so beautiful, soothing, colorful and exciting. Love, Brooklyn.

13. Dear Writing, thank you for being a thing and giving me people like Ms. LaFortune and Dr. Seifert to inspire, encourage and critique me. Love, Brooklyn.

14. Dearest Beautiful Wonderful Mother, thank you for teaching me to dance through life, being sure to clean up along the way. Love, Brooklyn.

15. Dear Elder Holland, thank you for always telling me to calm the swishandflick down and do something better. Love, Brooklyn.

16. Dear Exes, thank you for each teaching me something or many things that are very important. Love, Brooklyn.

17. Dear Audiences, thank you so much for putting up with and being there for me. Love, Brooklyn.

18. Dear 1940-1965, thank you for your female fashion, and for the costume inspiration it brings. Love, Brooklyn.

19. Dear Joseph Smith, thank you for making my favorite book happen. Love, Brooklyn.

20. Dear Magic, thank you for being real. Love, Brooklyn.

21. Dear cold, thank you for letting me have my fun when everyone else hates you. Love, Brooklyn.

22. Dear Katelyn, thank you for being my complete opposite and teaching me a lot of scary things about my self. And for your miraculous cookies and cupcakes. Love, Brooklyn.

23. Dear Temples, thank you for a place to serve and a place for peace and a place for families. Love, Brooklyn.

24. Dear sour candy and daisies, thank you for being two of my very favorite things. Love, Brooklyn.

25. Dear Boston, thanks for teaching me how to drive a manual car. Love, Brooklyn.

26. Dear mornings, thank you for always arriving, and doing so beautifully and theatrically. Love, Brooklyn.

27. Dear Food, thank you for you. You are a yes. Love, Brooklyn.

28. Dear Jesus Christ, thank you for your life, and your commitment to my and everybody's happiness. Thank you for being so everybody would always have at least someone who loved them infinitely. Love, Brooklyn.

All the Questions Before THE Question

I think marriage is just about the most permanent decision I will make in my life. So, important, yeah? Don't worry non-existent audience, I'm not engaged, or close to engaged, or even super appealing at the moment. But seeing as marriage is an eternal deal, I've recently been compiling a list of questions I want to ask my significant other prior to the popping of the question. Because questions are good and typically enlightening, or at least thought provoking. Some of these questions will be rhetorical and observatory. True, this list should probably stay in the journal, but there is a reason for the publicity thereof. If anyone IS actually reading this, and more miraculously reading this while MARRIED, please comment any questions you find necessary to ask before commitment as well. Life's a beautiful moment. Much love, Brooklyn Bridget.

1.  How many children do you see your family with?
2.  How quick is your temper?
3. Do you yell when you're upset?
4.  How well do you compromise?
5. Are you the type of person I want my son to become?
6. Am I the type of person you want your daughter to become?
7. Do you think I'm funny?
8. Do you laugh at 85% of my jokes anyway?
9. How often do you like to attend the temple?
10. What is your definition of verbal and physical abuse?
11. Are you cool with our kids being involved in violent video games?
12. Will you sit through and attempt to enjoy numerous plays, symphonies, museums, etc. with me?
13. How would your react if our son or daughter came out as gay?
14. How do you feel about show business?
15. Do you like hiking and camping?
16. Does your mood change according to the seasons?
17. Would you marry me if we disagreed religiously?
18. Where do you want to live?
19. Are you willing to live in a foreign country?
20. Would you want to go on a mission when we're old?
21. Are you a good listener?
22. Am I even slightly appealing in sweats?
23. Do you think bringing me flowers is pointless?
24. Are you consistently a gentleman?
25. Can you understand sarcasm?
26. What is magic?
27. What are your educational expectations for our children?
28. Should we pay for our kids' missions?
29. Should we pay for our kids' college education?
30. Are you super competitive?
31. Are you a good sport?
32. How clean do you like to keep the house?
33. Harry Potter.
34. Would you be willing to participate in Family Home Evening every week?
35. What's your ideal wake up hour?
36. Is music in the home important?
37. How strict do you want to be on media censorship?

Okay so maybe I'm crazy. As if we haven't established that already. This list is to be continued, so feel free to add on in the comments below.

Piece of MagicLive!

        YAWN. My lips stretch over my entire face as the invisible Exhaustion Monster creeps up my throat and out of my mouth. I accidentally glance at my daddy and the Monster bites him too. We each finish our yawns as we stumble into the theatre, another early morning session after a very late evening. Here we are at MagicLive!, a week-long, complete submersion of learning, buying, talking about, and showing off magic. Lectures in the morning, workshops in the afternoon, shows in the evening, and endless brainstorming, chatting, and rehearsing all night. Not to mention a big change of heart, speedily on its way to me and my career. 

This convention is, without a doubt, the best four days of my whole summer. As we find our seats in the theatre, we’re weary but very anxious to know who takes the stage to bring their very professional, experience-oriented, and possibly invaluable wisdom. I open my official, laminated, designer MagicLive! binder and flip to Monday’s schedule and slide my finger down to my session. My eyes widened so quickly and largely my heart must have leaped right up out of them. There it was: her wonderful name, in 11 point font, Times New Roman. This was real life. THE Tina Lenert  was about to give me marvelous advice, right in front of my eyes and wide-open ears. Oh, and I guess 900 other magicians were there too. 

Mrs. Tina Lenert is a delightful performer who has a wonderfully entertaining career. Her signature piece is called “Mr. Mop Man,” where she plays a lonely janitor, accidentally stepping into an enchanting romance. However, Tina’s magic doesn’t come only from her clever use of props and extraordinary mop. The performance is a beautiful story the gives the audience the gift of so many real and relatable emotions. 

Tina’s lecture was all about small “moments” in her life she used as the process to create the piece. For example, she told us about her first experience seeing the movie “The Rocky.” There was a simple, romantic instant between Rocky and Adrian that affected her very emotionally and directly, therefore she wanted to share that same impression with her audiences. It then became so clear as to why everything I felt when she performed was so real, because she had her honest heart infused all over it.

As if that wasn’t fulfilling enough, Wednesday’s speaker was none other than Joanie Spina, David Copperfield’s choreographer and simply one of my favorite artists in the entire industry. Her presentation was focused on a consultation she recently did for a magician named Patrick Thernes. I watched the (sadly, but honestly) pathetic videos of different stages of his act. The lecture concluded with a performance from Patrick himself, now full of life, story, and great feelings. I definitely cried as he took his magnanimous applause in tears, his heart so full of thanks to Joanie. 

Joanie echoed to us the advice and concepts she gave to Patrick, all very unique and brilliant ideas. She wasn’t up there telling me how to perform. She was showing me. Simply the way she carried herself was flawless; she was powerful, personal, magical. My entire performing tactics completely changed just sitting there on the edge of that auditorium chair, scrambling to capture every word dancing from her mouth to glue it to my paper. Joanie taught me that my magic isn’t for me at all, it’s a gift to my audience that I’m honored to have them receive.

“Magic” can require a lot of skill and hours of polishing rehearsals. That’s good, you should always work hard for where you want to be. However, in these few short days, Tina and Joanie taught me real magic. Real magic is taking the pure moments from your life and appreciating what you learn and feel from them. Real magic telling a story to the audience, something can hold on to in their hearts, not just taking their applause. Real magic is honing your talents to the best of your ability and then vigorously using them to help others as much as you can.

Real magic is what I want in my shows. As soon as I arrived home and began revising my act with what I learned, I knew I was finally on the right track. I feel so different, so much better when I perform now. I certainly have a long way to go, but putting the value of story into action and thinking of the audience instead of myself has made me a little bit more of the performer I want to become. I am so grateful for the education I receive just by living around and listening to other human beings. What incredible creatures. There’s no more time to yawn, for there’s magic to do.

Awaiting the Tina Lenert Lecture

Hotel Room Picnic because Awesome.

Delicious mexican food!

Adam London, Live at The D! Great show.

Tomsoni & Co. - Final Show at MagicLive! Emotional and wonderful.

The Elegant Finally Party!

Vegas never sleeps! Staying up all night in the hotel hallways and cafe to jam with Harry, Daddy and Paul.

Selfie

This is definitely me at the present moment.

Feels for the Day

A tug on my hand,
A kiss on my forehead.
A tear on my cheek,
And plenty on my my mind.

One day we'll understand
Why we chose this instead.
We'll find what we seek
And won't have to rewind.

That day isn't today,
At least not for me.
Au jour d'hui,
Tu me manques.

It'll be okay,
It'll be lovely.
Tu es mon ami,
Le futur est quelconques.

Steel Magnolias

"This is it, I have found it. I am in hell."

This journey is an absolute gem. It has all my favorite feels in it. Steel Magnolias is the story of six friends who give their story to the audience through visits to Truvy's salon. Shelby is about to be married, her mother M'Lynn is like any mother-of-the bride, widow of the mayor Clairee enjoys watching all of it unfold, Annelle is a brand new stylist and scared to death, and Ms. Ouiser Boudreaux is just about every cranky loud grandma you've ever met, combined and magnified by 18. As their lives and love change, we see the beautiful strength in these women.
This is one of the plays I am most grateful for. I hold an overwhelming appreciation to my director for trusting me with the gift of Ouiser. She's a nut, like me, but I can't believe he actually believed in me that much, and for that and many other lessons he taught me, I'll be indebted to him in my entire life. I had so much fun in this wonderful story. I learned so much from all the other actors who each became my role model. I love them very much. This show was so special because the note sessions we were able to have were so focused and particular, as we played with each other's hair our director would give us the most valuable feedback. Since this play was a cast of all women, amazingly enough, he directed another marvelous show called "12 Angry Men." They were all so good and we loved having that super cool experience of transforming the set back and forth.

Pas Aujourd'hui

But love, first learned in a lady’s eyes,

Lives not along immured in the brain;

but, with the motion of all elements,

Courses as swift as thought in every power,

And gives to every power a double power,

Above their functions and their offices,

It adds a precious seeing to the eye;

A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind;

A lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound,

When the suspicious head of theft is stopp’d:

Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible

Than are the tender horns of cockl’d snails;

Love’s tongue proves dainty Bacchs gross in taste:

For valour, is no Love a Hercules,

Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?

Subtle as Sphinx; as sweet and musical

Asbright Apollo’s lute, strung with his hair:

And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods

Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.

Never durst poet touch pen to write

Until his ink were temper’d with Love’s sighs;

O, then his lines would ravish savage ears

And plant in tyrants mild humility.
-William Shakespeare, Love Labor's Lost

Magical Pains

There's this really incredible, heart-exploding feeling you can have if you are injured during a show. Usually, you're dancing your heart out to the same 42 sets of eight exactly like you have been the past 87 times you've gone through this. But for some reason, this time, in front of the audience you've worked so hard for, you break your toe landing your jete, or sprain your back doing your ariel, or dislocate your knee jumping off that table, or (my favorite) just get totally nailed square in the nose by your partner taking an epic jazz hand.
It doesn't matter. That searing, worst physical pain you've ever been in in your short life isn't even there. It's SO there. Screaming at your and rushing through your entire body like thousand-degree needles.  You have to stop, you can't dance like that. It's impossible to keep character with that shearing through you veins. Nevertheless. You do. This precisely, is the beauty thereof. Theatre forces you into the defiance of "impossible," all because of the love you constantly feed it, and because story is king. You love your story too much to let it slip for one instant. You love your audience too much to let them go just to bleed. It may be your worst nightmare, but it's one of the most miraculous sensations you can experience, because you learn, fully and permanently, that love has the infinite power to conquer anything. Being there, doing what you do, torturing yourself. The pain multiplies every count. And you feel invincible.

Such is life, of course. "All the world's a stage." You are here, there, because someone loves you. Infinitely. Love will endure, love will heal, love will clarify, love will transform, love will triumph. Love is magic.
MAGIC.

Happy This Day

I think you have to write when you're sick, otherwise you just think about how miserable your body feels, subsequently telling your brain to find something deeper to be sad about. But your body is just having a silly moment, reminding you to be grateful when you are healthy and even happy you're not much more sick than you are. I wish I could go outside and peak at the moon, a good friend of mine. I'll add a picture tomorrow when a bunch of cool photographers have posted them.
"Oh moon, whose nook and cranny doth shine so bright."
I have no idea what that's from. Or if it's really from something. My daddy always says it, and I love him. I kind of always thought it was in A Midsummer Night's Dream, but I don't think so. Maybe. I

don't know. Anyway, Happy Summer Solstice! (Nearly twelve hours ago). Sorry about the improper paren punctuation. Also, fragments. Solstice is sort of a small special thing to me, it warms and races a big part of my heart. What a magical show-off moment for the sky. I'm going to do the whole hooplah crazy solstice affair one of these years, track the sun's path and admire the moon for hours and all. Sometime when I decide not to be so pompously busy. I'm not even that busy, but it feels like it because I make myself so tired and there are so many things that are undone.
I love art, I love show people, I love you, definitely. I'm going to do it, I'm going to find a way to perform for the rest of my life. After a whole three days of trying to convince myself that it's just a hobby, kissing it goodbye just won't do. There's a passion there with a heart of its own. But I think it's mine. So I'll be dancing, smiling. For whatever audience needs me.
Or will have enough patience to take me.
(Pretentious wink)

Thoughts.

If things were different,  everything would be different.  No one really knows what another is thinking. You might know all your thoughts, but you probably don't know how to express them thoroughly. At least I don't. Words are usually good, if you can find the proper ones. I bet there's a perfect word for everything we feel, we just don't know them all yet. I certainly don't know quite how to write yet. Words are good.
But if we don't use words we do use other things.  No words is a thing. Logically, no words might mean no thoughts. But it probably means a lot of thoughts. It usually means a lot of thoughts. Thoughts you can't write, thoughts you don't know how to write, thoughts you don't believe, thoughts you really don't want to be thinking. Thoughts completely and constantly quarreling with each other. Thoughts that come and never go.
There's also bodies. Hitting, something we shouldn't do. Hugs, something we should do more. Sex. Hand holding, hand shakes.  The way you shake someone's hand. Eye contact,  the lack thereof. Complete conversations solely with the eyes. All conveyors of thought. But we'll never really get the whole picture.
In this life at least. Not many ever really intend to offend. I don't. But no one likes being offended. It isn't kind to attack, or offend, to assume. Mistakes are interesting, typically the result of thought. Or the lack thereof. I've made many mistakes. I will continue to. Luckily that's how we grow, if we choose to learn. I do not consider any type of relationship I've ever had a mistake. Mistake sounds so subtle.  Like it isn't much, blithe, almost. Litotes, in my mind. Just thoughts.
There will always be love.

Graduation

A day I never thought much about coming came. Today was wonderful! I am so happy. High school was truly an amazing adventure.  I love it and am proud to be a Spartan. Thank you for the opportunity to speak. Thank you to every remarkable soul in my life, especially my family, and my friends just like family. I love you!
In the high school, we are supposed to learn a thing or two, so hopefully, you would agree with me that we did! Mrs. Hanson and Mr. Drake taught me to write cautiously and bravely. Ms. Spackman and Mr. Georgelas taught me to decide to have always have energy. From Mr. Wood, I learned that if at first you don't succeed, just succeed in being a bad example. From Ms. Chappell, I learned that with hard work and smile you can basically accomplish anything.
However, I think the most valuable lesson, among many, I have learned comes from Mr. Saxton (if you all weren’t sure, I’m kind of into the theatre-drama stuff). He taught us that STORY IS KING. Any production can be funny, or scary, or have great choreography, amazing effects or cool costumes, but without the story, the play missing his heart. Your story is the king of your life.
Our story at Murray High School was a marvelous, terrifying, and gracious exposition to our own personal stories. As the next scene in our life opens, I hope we can all appreciate this last one. I love each of you for something you bring. I am blessed to be around you super cool people I have learned so much from. In our cast as a the class of 2013 I see hard, dedicated workers, big ideas, strong opinions, incredible talent, and wisdom from the stories you have lived. That has to be my favorite thing about people. The diversity they bring from their past to create such an interesting future. It honestly blows my mind.
Speaking of the future, here we are. We know that no story is complete without juicy conflict, and I certainly believe it’s out there waiting for us. But look what we have! All those strong qualities, and this beginning of knowledge we’ve been given, and such cool people? The adventure up to our climax will be victorious. Again, the conflict is out there. However, so is our awesome, joyful “denouement”, our happily ever after, our impossible dream we’ve dared to dream. Let us have the courage to chase after it. Let us have the courage to not only endure our entire story, but to enjoy it.