Don't Be Afraid

 Do not be afraid of being fat. 

Your body is a gift. Your body reacts to many elements; nutrition, pain, trauma, movement, joy, depression, disappointment, transition, birth, baptism, disease, and so much more. Some is under your control, much is not. Your body is your tool, not your scale of worth or ability. You have so much more control in your mind, and even then, not complete control. 

Don't be afraid of these experiences that will inevitably change your body. Experience them, and choose those things that process the bad, and make you absolutely love the good. Choose to spend time with people and activities you love.

I'm so much bigger in body than I ever thought I would be. And I still dance, I cycle, I work, I juggle, I see, I make love, and I care for my children with great fulfilment. And more. Taking care of your body and punishing your body are so different. I don't have it all figured out, but I'm so done being disappointed in my body. I'm going to do all I can to o remain neutral or positive about it. Thank you God, for this phenomenal gift only you can give.

2021 Highlights

•  Favorite Songs:
• 1 Levitating by Dua Lipa 
• 2 Real Groove by Kylie Minogue 
• 3 ocean eyes by Billie Eilish 
• 4 not ready yet by basement waves
  
• 5 deja Vu by Olivia rodrio 

Movies I saw:

• Black widow (Liked it)
• West Side Story (really liked it)

Challenges:

• Anxiety, presenting in new and difficult ways 
• Looking for a house to buy, not quite there yet 
• Stand up comedy. Amazing, terrifying, unsure if I fit in.  

Miracles:

Really great therapist 

Fully Vaccinated 

Got to go to the temple 

Healthy family

Happy Independence Day

 Happy Independence Day!  I am grateful, thoroughly, and so emotionally today, for those who have fought bravely for our freedom we enjoy in the United States. Soldiers, speakers, politicians, parents, and citizens who have fought, spoken and worked so hard for the freedom we enjoy and are developing in the United States of America. 

  Their sacrifice is sacred, and is like into our Savior's. Jesus Christ lived for us, and then gave an ultimate sacrifice, He suffered an Atonement and died for us. More specifically, for our freedom. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He fought every battle you would, to gain empathy for you, and to give you the choice to be delivered unto eternal happiness.   

God values freedom so much, He gave His own Son that we might have it. So we could choose! I stand all amazed, and I am grateful for God's guidance in settling this land of the free, that His Gospel might be restored and then taken to the whole world. God love each person, His child, equally, and I know His plan is to give every person an opportunity to partake fully in His love. He commands us to love one another, and to use the precious freedom we have been given to create peace in earth.   

 

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand  

Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation!  

Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the heav’n-rescued land 

 Praise the Pow’r that hath made and preserved us a nation!  

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,  

And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”  

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave  

O’er the land of the free 

and the home of the brave! 

 - Francis Scott Key, The Star-Spangled Banner

7 Not-Dishes You Can Clean in the Dishwasher

 https://youtu.be/6aX0gXExU3s

whenever I'm choosing a new place to rent, it's always a very exciting plus to see a working  dishwasher. Here's what I put in there besides food chariots:

1. Phone case: if 2020 has taught us anything, it's that we nasty. if it's not made of bedazzled feathers, throw it in.

2. Sponges: also seems to be an ameoba of threatening germs. Run it through, squeeze it out, and it at least looks better.

3. Scrubbers: this is the same idea as #2, plus the little dish it sits in. 

4. Kids' toys: they are almost all dishwasher-safe plastic and almost all been in the kid's mouth, dog's mouth, floor, and trash today.

5. Beauty Blender: I dunno really, but it looked better after I did it. This blog is free so you get what you pay for. 

6. Parts of the stove: I'm so very grateful to have a stove, but it's the worst stove. One of those electric swirly twirly stoves, plus all my burners are tilted about 10° somehow? Well I turned off the stove, unplugged the burners, and the lil bowls that behold them were very happy for the bath. 

7. Glasses: maybe I should run this by an optometrist, but mine have been fine and smuge-free.

Some Election Day Thoughts,

written before the results are in. 2020.

"I pledge allegiance

to the flag,

of the United States of America.

And to the republic, for which it stands. 

one nation. 

under God. 

Indivisible.

With liberty, and

 justice 

for 

all."

• I'm not sure if it is 100% correct, but that is what I remember from reciting it every day in elementary school, leading each day on the intercom in junior high, and saying it into the school news broadcast camera each Friday in high school. I dunno, I guess I thought I was important and should be constantly talking, ha ha. I always felt the pledge was important and sacred, like a privilege and a duty to recite and uphold. Now, for the past 7 years when I have been doing a very silly magic show at any elementary school, I feel honored if I am there in the morning, at a time when the pledge is said. I tear up absolutely every time, it just hits me so hard. It's beautiful, idyllic, and was written as a prayer for a nation freshly built.
  

• Allegiance, United, Republic, One, Nation, Indivisible, All. 
• All terms, of which there are many, to indicate UNITY. Not group think, but group effort. A united front for freedom, liberty, justice, thriving, and for family. Terms that I feel reflect the core values of our founding fathers and mothers, inviting us to work, hard, together. Love each other, stick up for ourselves and one another, and help out and deal with situations that seem unfair. 
• I am so grateful to live in the United States of America because: 
• Access to education. I know that sadly, this is not the case for all women yet. But my parents, community, religious group and peers encouraged and celebrated me in my educational pursuits. Overall, I was taught that I was smart, capable, and worthy of investing in; and gender or sex had nothing to do with it. I know living in a country where school is available, encouraged, and attainable is absolutely a blessing and a superpower.
• Ability to thrive in the family. Our country has resources to support families in their pursuits for survival, thriving, and progress. In good times and in rough, generally, families are able to live in a place that is safe and with opportunities for growth. Obviously, opportunities and protections for many are lacking, but I believe we live in a country that can improve this over time with great effort, as we already have. 
• Freedom to believe in God and Jesus Christ. My religious beliefs are precious and essential to me. To be able to inwardly believe and outwardly worship my God is a blessing I am extremely grateful for and which I cherish. 
• French fries, desserts, fruits, vegetables, and so many ice cream flavors. Yum!
• Freedom of speech. When I was younger, I was scared of new ideas. Now, I enjoy the mental exercise I get from reading Facebook every week and seeing what people are passionate about, and meeting new people and adapting my world view according to what I learn from their experiences. Naturally, this causes a lot of contention. But how wonderful to generally be able to voice what you feel is important. 
• I am sad to live in the United States of America because:
• Though I hold onto some hope, I think we are lacking much of what the pledge of allegiance pleads for in UNITY. At times, alignment with a political party has been the source of enacted hate, greed, dishonesty, convolution and more. Sometimes I see online posts declaring something along the lines of "If you're not voting for [candidate] go ahead and unfriend me now." How sad and short-sighted this is! Ideals like this driving us away from one another...it will not make for a peaceful space where one party's ideas can easily take over. We cannot cancel each other and ignore them. We're stuck, like siblings. We can and must work together.
• A tainted history of prejudice continues to burden our culture. Black lives matter. Regardless of sexual identity, the pursuit of happiness applies to all. Sexual assault absolutely must be condemned and taught to cease. These and other roots of hate and abuse unfortunately persist, but I do believe and hope, beginning in our own homes, we can end these unkind behaviors and truly hope for a better world. 
• Air pollution and other environmental concerns. Sigh. 

I love my country, the United States of America, and I am proud and grateful to be an American. I hope and pray I can be an active help to bringing together a better country and world. 

For a Friend

She danced through the city
Feeling so pretty
Handing sunshine to one and all
Twas the perfect day
To dance and to play
For it was her birthday, after all

5 ReasonS to Give My Favorite Speaker Series a Try

Twice per year, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints holds a worldwide conference for members and non-members of the church to hear speeches about family, Christ, individual worth and the like. I really enjoy it! General Conference will be available LIVE all weekend at churchofjesuschrist.org

Here's why I would love to invite you to give it a try:

1. It's free. In our exciting world of endless entertainment and education options, I think I am advertised another subscription service approximately 80 times per day. However, the live streaming and never-ending access to the conference's video, audio and print is completely free!
2. Strong & Kind Speakers. The speakers for the conference are selected among women and men who are leaders and officers in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Without compensation, they work full time on evangelical and humanitarian projects. Many of them have experienced challenging life circumstances. When I listen to them speak or meet one of them, I can feel the genuine love and gentle kindness they hold for the humans of Earth. They have wonderful insights that are shared in their speeches, with the goal of giving the peace, comfort, and love that Jesus Christ promised. 
3. Tips and Tricks. The conference is much more than a life hacks video, but many of the speakers can offer practical advice for navigating personal, family, or career drama. With much life experience themselves, I often turn to these speakers' stories to get advice about what I'm dealing with. I especially love the the women's session on Saturday evening, because all the female speakers inspire me to be a stronger, braver woman.
4. Answers to questions. I believe in God. I believe He loves me and you, and has a strong desire to help us work through the big and little questions we have. I have felt Him near me during general conferences, and helping me figure out what my next move should be in life. 
5. I love you. Thanks for taking the time to read this. As a fellow human, I think you are worth endless effort and happiness. In the past, I have found a lot of joy, answers, laughs, and hope in these speeches. Since I hope the very same things for you, you're invited to tune into General Conference this weekend. Hope to see you there! 🖤

Love,

Brooklyn

More info about General Conference: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/events/october-2019-general-conference?lang=eng

Daily Bread

For Starters

Hello! My purpose in speaking today is to share about my personal scripture study experiences and testify of my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know through the power of the Holy Ghost we can understand how we might individually improve in our families. I’m Brooklyn Tanner. We moved into this marvelous ward a few months ago, thank you for making us feel so welcome. I’m Brooklyn, and I am married to Jon Tanner, because I like him. And we have a son Simon who is three months old. He doesn’t say much, but he has a great smile. We so look forward to continuing to get to know you. My husband Jon is so smart, he has really studied the scriptures well through his life, and teaches me great stories and truths he learns in them.

Know (What is the Doctrine?)

Here's the promise we have as members of the church:

"You will benefit greatly by [studying the scriptures]. Daily, meaningful scripture study helps you be receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. It builds your faith, fortifies you against temptation, and helps you draw near to your Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son."

Those are wonderful blessings, I think that is the most important part and the main purpose of scripture study, to get to know Jesus Christ so we can understand His love for us and how to follow Him.  True to the Faith continues with instructions for success:

"Develop a plan for your personal study of the scriptures. Consider setting aside a certain amount of time each day to study the scriptures. During that time, read carefully, being attentive to the promptings of the Spirit. Ask your Heavenly Father to help you know what He would have you learn and do."

 (True to the Faith)

This is a great goal to strive toward. We are consistently encouraged to feast upon the words of Christ by our general and local leaders. This cute Lil pamphlets makes suggestions about how as a stake we can work towards the area goals. The very first one is to study the scriptures for 30 minutes daily. 

As we work to make time for the scriptures every day, the Holy Ghost will help us find what habits work the best for us individually.

In this season, What works for me is reading the scriptures on my Gospel Library app while I’m feeding my baby, then to journal my thoughts and questions on Sunday before or after church. Certainly I am not perfect in my efforts, and I have a long way to go to meet my scripture-study goals. From the times that I have studied and pondered, I can testify that not only does the commandment to study come from God, but it is a way to directly receive his love.

We know the scriptures provide answers to our prayers. Sometimes we find just the answer we are looking for in the actual words of the scriptures.

I wasn’t feeling if God loved me, or anyone. Doctrine always points back to how much God loves us. Nephi didn't know the condescension of God, but he knew He loves us. We can understand by pondering and seeking.

16 And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?

17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

 1 Nephi 11

Sometimes the scriptures provide us with the spirit we need to receive revelation. When I was a missionary, we had two hours for required scripture study in the morning (we were usually awake the whole time). One day after studying, I felt like we should visit an investigator who liked to meet with us but was very busy, and you couldn’t catch her without an appointment. But when I thought of her, it felt really right. So we visited her, so not only was she there, but it was her birthday! She was so pleased someone came to celebrate. For me, that experience was so impactful in realizing the magical things that happen when we follow the Spirit. I felt so close to Jesus Christ and his mission in giving love to all of God’s children.

These are some of the ways we find answers and blessings in the scriptures.

Do (How?)

Let’s take a moment and realize how blessed we are to be Latter-Day Saints in August 2019. Recently I read about the incredible amount of advancements we have had in technology in the past 100 years, which really is astounding. We have seen inventions like the radio, television, commercial airplane, computer, internet, cell phone, smart phone, tablets, and even microwave ovens! Nearly all of these inventions have increased our ability to communicate with one another, very quickly and thoroughly. Since Adam and Eve, we have been able to communicate with God, praying to individually and receiving his messages through revelation and the SCRIPTURES.

Without a doubt, Heavenly Father has orchestrated these great leaps in technology. We are His latter-day saints. He gives us every opportunity to accept Jesus Christ’s invitation, Come Follow Me. We are invited to open our scriptures and read them every day. Now, there are so many ways to open the scriptures, study them, and learn from the testimonies recorded in and around them.

Scriptures are available as one big book, individual books, as an app on a smart phone, where you can read the scriptures, listen to the scriptures, and even watch great videos depicting scripture stories.

But wait! There’s more! Monthly, we can read church magazines geared to our age. In the past year, each of the apostles and members of the first presidency have made an official Instagram account where they share testimonies and experiences. You can literally, follow the prophet! There are some wonderful podcasts about the Gospel, we have rediscovered the joy of studying with the Come Follow Me curriculum, we can learn scriptural doctrine through the hymns. We have wonderful classes for discussing the scriptures like seminary and institute, the Church even has a great YouTube channel with videos explaining doctrines we learn in the scriptures.

In addition to our daily study, the scriptures can be a part of our lives in so many ways. We can learn doctrine as we're making dinner! Read the words of God in a waiting room! ! Be converted on our commute!

Become (What are we promised?)

There are so many options for everyone to study the scriptures and be enlightened. The commandment from God is the same to all his children: feast upon the words of Christ, daily. We have been encouraged to plan for scripture study and find a way that works for us.

In our most recent general conference, President Nelson was very direct. He obviously loves and cares for our families so much, and he passionately invited us to have more spiritual experiences:

"If you are not sure you even believe in God, start there. Understand that in the absence of experiences with God, one can doubt the existence of God. So, put yourself in a position to begin having experiences with Him. Humble yourself. Pray to have eyes to see God’s hand in your life and in the world around you. Ask Him to tell you if He is really there—if He knows you. Ask Him how He feels about you. And then listen.”  

President Nelson: "Come, Follow Me" 2019

I can testify that Heavenly Father will bless you in your efforts to make time to study His Gospel.

Thanks to the scriptures and the witness of the Holy Ghost, I know God loves you!

Trending in the Delivery Room: Mothers' Methods for Making Their Birth Plan

Brooklyn Brewer Tanner
Utah Valley University

Submitted to Rongxun Liang, Ph.D.
Summer 2018


Abstract
This paper explores the research that has been completed about the potential risks and benefits of natural and medicated childbirth. In depth, the research is examined that has been performed about epidural use and natural birthing in order to determine the overall safety of each method. Considering the variety of choices a woman has in planning her birth, the paper will also evaluate the effect of internet information on expectant mothers' birth plan choices. It is found that internet searches involving pain management during birth have risen significantly in recent years, demonstrating women's dependence on the internet for reputable information. The role of a mother in giving birth to her child can be helped or hurt by the information found online.
Key Words
Birth, Birth Centers, Childbirth, Doulas, Epidural, Homebirth, Internet, Medicine, Midwifery, Millennials, Mothers, Natural Childbirth, Obstetrics, Pain Relief, Pregnancy, Social Media.
Introduction
The common, yet miraculous occurrence of birth is experienced by the majority of women at least once in their lifetime. That first pregnancy spurs a myriad of feeling to the inexperienced mother including excitement, fear, happiness, confusion, and determination. Among the many choices a woman will make during her pregnancy is the consideration of natural birth and medicated birth. In most low-risk pregnancies, women have the option of bearing their child naturally, or without medicinal pain relief, whether it be in a hospital, birthing center, or home. They also are commonly offered an epidural to numb the pain of childbirth when delivering in a hospital. Now that information on the internet has been widely available for two decades, women have an enormous pot of information, research, opinions, and experiences from which to draw considerations as they make their decision. This topic is particularly pertinent to the rising generation of mothers, who have more access to a variety of internet resources than any generation of mothers before. The topic of internet-influenced birth planning has been chosen in order to assist the modern mother in navigating the risks and benefits of natural and medicated birth methods.
Purpose
The purpose of this paper is to explore the research that has been completed about the potential risks of natural and medicated childbirth. The paper will also evaluate the effect of internet information on expectant mother's birth plan choices. When women can receive unbiased, true information regarding pregnancy and birth, they are better able to make sound decisions for their health and the safety of their infant. This paper strives to provide that reliable information to expectant mothers.
Definition of Concepts
Mentioned in this paper are many medical, pregnancy, and labor and delivery terms.
Caesarean Section: commonly known as C-section, the surgical delivery of an infant through an abdominal incision
Doula: a non-medical personnel that coaches and assists women in giving birth by giving suggestions for positioning, providing encouragement, and giving massages.
Epidural: anesthetic used mainly in childbirth to reduce sensation below the waist.
Natural Childbirth: the birth of an infant without any type of medicinal substance assistance. May also refer to birth taking place in the home or in a birthing center.
Medicated Birth: the birth of an infant that is assisted by one or more medicinal substances, such as an epidural anesthetic, Pitocin, narcotics, or instrumental/surgical assistance such as forceps, vacuum extraction, or C-section. 
Research Questions and Hypotheses
What are the benefits and drawbacks of a natural childbirth? What are the benefits and drawbacks of an epidural-assisted childbirth? What influence does the internet have on an American woman's choice to receive an epidural or strive for a natural childbirth?
It is predicted that the research will suggest potentially adverse side effects of a medicated birth, but further danger in natural birthing. It is predicted that in the United States, mothers receive most of their medical information from the internet, most of it non-credible, which can inhibit their ability to make sound birthing decisions.
Literature Review
Plenty of research has been conducted around pain relief during childbirth. However, most of the research has been done in the medical field, considering the scientific nature of medicine. The homeopathic and natural community is not as abundant in research or research methods around natural childbirth. However, there are a few published studies available focusing on the social science of women's birth experiences. The data sources used in this paper come mainly from articles in medical journals published after the year 2000. In an attempt to provide information that is as accurate and current as possible, this paper uses almost exclusively peer-reviewed research and data.
The research published in medical journals has generally been well-documented with legitimate research methods. Medical case studies are thorough in disclosing the details of possible side effects in the use of an epidural, even rare occurrences. The information published about natural childbirth occasionally has a biased tone, sometimes disregarding previously proven medical research. However, the research is clear in explaining the need for trained and competent professionals to be present at any birth to avoid fatal complications. It would be beneficial to see more research on childbirth and pain management conducted in the United States. Finding studies, especially those involving the personal experiences of women, concerning American families requires some elongated searching.
Natural Childbirth: The Benefits
What is now defined as "natural" childbirth has been the method of delivery for women for centuries. Many women, mostly in the holistic, alternative, and natural care community profess strongly of the benefits of a natural childbirth. Many mothers enjoy the freedom of movement that comes with not being tied to a hospital bed by IV or epidural. It is believed that for the mother to be able to move around and choose a position that feels right to her, labor is more effective (Howland, 2017). Some naturally-minded mothers feel that naturally birthing their child will give them a sense of accomplishment, or badge of true motherhood. By enduring the pain of childbirth, they feel committed and connected to their baby (Lothian, 2000). In a natural childbirth occurring at home or a birthing center, mothers find comfort in avoiding the pressure for medical intervention. Having a baby in the comfort of their own home accompanied by a midwife and doula is appealing.
Along with benefits during labor, benefits are reported for mother and baby after birth as well. Mothers are generally able to recover more quickly after a natural childbirth, which is mostly attributed to the less frequent occurrence of episiotomy and tearing (Panazzolo & Mohammed 2011). Howland (2017) claims that without the use of drugs in delivery, babies are born more alert, and without the lethargy, they are better able to quickly cultivate an effective breastfeeding habit. It is also believed that pursuit of natural childbirth lessens the chance for the need of a Caesarean section. When the infant passes through the vaginal canal, essential bacteria are picked up that help in the development of baby's immune system (Howland, 2017). The report of these benefits is found on multiple platforms online, including in articles, blogs, videos, and lifestyle and pregnancy websites. Many mothers are drawn to natural childbirth by these benefits the testimonials promise.
Natural Childbirth: The Drawbacks
The main drawback associated with natural childbirth, and the reason nearly 90% of births are medicated, is the immense pain associated with childbirth (Lothian, 2000). Compared to other mammals, the head-to-birth canal ratio is jarring in humans. The average head of a baby is actually larger than the dilated birth canal, requiring the cervix and vagina to stretch painfully to allow for passage of the baby (Shipman, 2014). The fear of or realization of this pain can drive most women to demand the assistance of an epidural.
While the benefits of a natural childbirth, especially at home, seem attractive, women must technically fit a certain criterion to qualify. Due to the enormous progress in mother and baby mortality, there are many measures in place in medical settings to save a mother and /or baby if something is to go wrong. Panazzolo and Mohammed (2011) in analyzing natural childbirth noted, "Although this option can seem to be the optimal choice, women seeking natural births must be healthy, low-risk women without serious medical conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure." Properly and improperly attended home births have a much higher mortality rate than those attended to in a hospital or birth center (Grünebaum, McCullough, Arabin, Brent, Levene, & Chervenak, 2016).
Childbirth with Epidural: The Benefits
The modern epidural is a remarkable feat of analgesia (pain relief). A woman is able to have a thin, cord-like tube inserted into her back with a needle that will pump appropriate amounts of medication to the lower half of her body on demand. The analgesia provides pain relief, instead of anesthesia, which would numb the entire area of feeling ("Epidural," 2017). Complications associated with epidural use are very rare, and the majority of hospitals are equipped with competent providers to properly install the epidural (Rajkalyan & Kaumudi, 2014).
The epidural reduces or eliminates pain associated with childbirth, including the feeling of a tearing perineum, or episiotomy. Many mothers are able to regain energy to birth their child once the pain of labor is lessened. This potentially allows for a more pleasant birth experience, where mama can enjoy laboring and focus on her growing family, instead of constant, intense pain. Doctors, nurses, and doulas are available for coaching the mother on what to do, since she may not feel the urge to push as strongly as one does in a natural childbirth. 
Childbirth with Epidural: The Drawbacks
As with any medicine, studies have confirmed possible risks and side effects associated with the use of epidurals in childbirth. Some women who use an epidural complain of intense postpartum headaches. One case study examined in depth the occurrence of Cerebral venous thrombosis (CVT), a rare but extremely painful disease postpartum, due to the improper installation of an epidural (Raj & Rupasinghe, 2016). While misplacement is not common, human error is always possible in medical procedures. Patients more commonly experience postdural patient headaches (PDPH), due to the puncture the epidural requires near the spine. These headaches can last indefinitely, and a lasting cure has not been found. "Although not life-threatening, PDPH carries substantial morbidity by restricting activities of daily life. Current noninvasive treatments, including bed rest, fluids, analgesics, caffeine, and sumatriptan, only temporize the discomfort" (Ghaleb, 2010).
Some women may feel very restricted by the effects of an epidural. With an epidural, and subsequently an IV, in place, mama is restricted to her hospital bed, due to the hookups and the numbing effect. This means she will labor on her back, which may not be the optimal position for delivery, depending on the baby's descent. Since the epidural reduces feeling in the lower body, mama is not able to move around or change positions to expedite labor. Mama may also be hooked to a catheter, which many women do not realize comes with the epidural experience before agreeing to one (Howland, 2017). Some studies speculate that medical induction and epidural use lead to a higher likelihood for doctors to determine the need for instrument-assisted birth (forceps or vacuum extraction) and C-section.
Influence of the Internet on Birth Plan Choices
There has been much research published on the benefits and drawbacks of natural and medicated childbirth. Ultimately, either birth, if properly attended, has proven to be generally safe for most mothers and babies. This concept has been researched over and over in the last two decades: "Pain and anxiety...appear to have been relieved as effectively by social support as by medical assistance" (Fox & Worts, 1999).
Accurate information puts a mother in a very strong position to make sound choices for the care of herself and her baby. Some research indicates that many mothers do not attempt any personal research beyond the advice of their chosen care provider, which can limit her opportunities to understand the best birth plan for her situation (Panazzolo & Mohammed 2011).
On the other end of the spectrum, women can receive heavily biased material from non-credible sources seeking to antagonize the opposing party. This content is often infiltrated with strong, hyperbolized, advertisement-like wording to hook readers/viewers into their material. It is essential that women understand how to do effective research and discern content for what it is. Google searches regarding epidurals have skyrocketed in the last five years. Women are turning to the internet as their main source of medical education. "Identifying the most common and rapidly increasing online search queries may guide physician-parturient interactions and online content creation, to address labor analgesic topics that most interest users" (Sutton & Carvalho, 2017). The information, credible or not, that women find on the internet about pregnancy and birth strongly influences the choices they make in the delivery room. Holistic and medical caretakers urge expectant families to understand the options available to them (Christieans & Nieuwenhuijze, 2013).
Conclusion
Pregnancy and childbirth are miraculously and commonly experienced each day by women around the world. Pain management has a variety of safe options, including medicated and unmedicated methods. When attended by a trained, competent professional, the birth of a child has a high rate of a healthy outcome. A mother's planning for birth is affected by family traditions, culture, the opinion and practice of their chosen provider, and most recently, information found online. Websites, blogs, video blogs, articles, instructional videos and advice columns can now be created and published by anyone with an internet connection.
As women strive to obtain credible information, their decision process is well-informed. Ultimately, the mother is the main participant in the birth. As she is able to understand her role in the process, she will be empowered to use any information she meets to her benefit, and for the benefit of her growing family. 

 

References
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Christieans, W., Nieuwenhuijze, M.J., & de Vries, R. (2013). Trends in the medicalisation of childbirth in Flanders and the Netherlands. Midwifery, 13, doi: 10.1016/j.midw.2012.08.010.
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Grünebaum A., McCullough L.B., Arabin B., Brent R.L., Levene M.I., & Chervenak F.A. (2016). Neonatal Mortality of Planned Home Birth in the United States in Relation to Professional Certification of Birth Attendants. PLoS ONE. 11(5):e0155721. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0155721.
Howland, G. (2017). The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Lothian, J. A. (2000). Why Natural Childbirth? The Journal of Perinatal Education, 9(4), 44–46. http://doi.org/10.1624/105812400X87905.
Panazzolo, M. and Mohammed, R. (2011). Birthing Trends in American Society and Women's Choices. Race, Gender & Class, 18, 268-283.
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On Disaster

There is nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -Shakespeare


Late August 2017, Harvey has finally resigned, Maria is on her way, and Irma was in full angry force. Residents of Florida anticipate the impending disaster. In the slow-motion blink of an eye, Hurricane Irma devoured 134 fatalities during her 65 billion-dollar tantrum. Images of damaged homes, slaughtered sights where homes used to be, and hundreds of people, suddenly thrust into survival mode, these images took over the big and small screens of Americans for two months. 180 mph winds will blow more than your mind. What we cannot count are the tears, the favorite blankets lost, the words spoken at funerals, the hugs, the prayers, the hands that helped.

Surely, disaster invokes a reaction. Shock, horror, flee, fight, sadness, anger, devastation. Moments of speechlessness and anger because there is nobody to be angry at. No one to punish. However, disaster also invokes action. Neighbors and nearby acquaintances now share a commonality. They are one in heart because of loss. They help each other, they clean up, they hug and mourn for the dead, and for the lost. Residents near and far flood in as well, hoping to help make a dent in the clean-up.
Here in Utah, we cannot feel the pelting rain, the flooded streets. But we see something like that, try to imagine what it would be like, and sympathize. Maybe we empathize, if we have lost someone we love. We pray, we donate, and we send messages of support, love, attempt at understanding. Thanks to the internet, we can instantaneously have updated information. Donation sites are all over our social media feeds, email inboxes, and televisions. The Red Cross raised enough money to feed well over a million meals to victims and send 52,000 health care workers to care for the Floridians. These efforts do not completely meet all the needs, and they don't take away the pain of a hurricane.

However, in a hurricane, we are not freshman and seniors. We are not atheists and Christians. We are not angry liberals or egotistical conservatives, we are humans. The innate culture of the human is to love. We love one another, motivate one another, and have the power to heal one another. Ethos, pathos and logos, are fired up in our souls in disaster. We feel obligated to help, especially if we are not the ones hurting. We feel that sympathy and empathy, pain for the pain someone else holds. And in our minds, it makes sense that we should help. If one house falls, seldom do all the members of other, standing houses stay in, lock their doors, and watch curiously as their neighbor rebuilds the wreckage. We run, we hug, we post, we pray, we pay, we work, we apologize, we try, we love.

Natural disaster is not the only moment in which our culture of unconditional love is activated. We come together in artificial disasters, too! Moments of silence for those lost in horrible acts of violence, and loud protests when injustice is evident. The "news" is not so new anymore, daily we are confronted with the sadness, horror, and anger of those trying to destroy love. Disaster is not always widespread or news-worthy either. Sometimes the world disaster is the small disaster going on in someone's world.
To the sixteen-year-old who just broke up with her first love, life is a disaster. To the clinically depressed college student whom it pains to start another day, life is a disaster. To the single mom coming up short, to the widower missing his companion, to the comedian trying to make it, to the couple buried in debt. Each human has their moments of disaster in which time is frozen and the future seems dark. Comparison will kill validity, but truly, we each deserve love when disaster bursts into our hearts. As these humans, we will never all agree, but again, we can love.

Love is a word, which speaks a life-sustaining language. These kinds of words are used to communicate meaning, suffering, love, or goals. This language continues in conversation in order to eventually improve one's quality of life and capacity for understanding. Life-sustaining language, loving words which give hope for a sunrise in a fitful, dark night. Hope is a most difficult choice, but the ability to hold onto hope is stronger when surrounded by hopeful, loving friends. A hope, a prayer, love: these are very small beams of light which can only be turned on with sincerity. One beam may be small and dismissible, but when rallies of hearts full of hope, numerous prayers, and outpouring of love arrive, an enormous spotlight is available to warm the wounded and light the way for perseverance.

Love is a touch, a hug, or hand held, to transmit comfort from the depth of the soul, through the heart, blood, and sensory receptors to the sensitive skin of the victim. Humans need touch like they need water, but we do not know that, because touch isn't sent with toothbrushes and soap in care packages. A welcome and well-intended physical touch alleviates the emotional pain for a small moment, a small step toward recovery. It is the universal language which strengthens the friendship for the moment and sometimes forever.

Love is a hot meal. Love is using your hands or hard-earned money to provide enjoyable, comforting food for your friend who lost her soccer game or lost her house. Good food shared with friend is bonding and uplifting. The use of this and any talent to love one another is our great responsibility as a human family. The thing you are good at is not an accident, it is stewardship. These gifts are those which are to be lovingly and freely given to each other. We need the songs others can sing, the cake others can bake, and the strong arms others can provide.

Love is not pride. Love is removing our biases, our preconceived notions, our assumptions, our lies, our walls, our obsessions, our idleness, our worries, our lipstick, our comfort, whatever is necessary to provide help. Love is the desire to give, not the desire to receive a reward for giving. Love is recognizing that you and he both came out of the womb wailing and helpless. Love is remembering to lend your heart when the wailing and helplessness resurfaces.


Perhaps love is all we can hold in the eye of a storm. No hurricane can drown it, no gun can obliterate it, no disease can infect it. Only we, the humans, the souls, can destroy it. It is the power within us that initiates and harbors love, and from there it is inevitably felt. Love can be freely given, freely received. Our human culture is bonded by porous hearts. Love is activated and spread by these difficult and tearful times. Thanks be to God for difficult days.

本宿、本宿です。 (Motojuku, this is Motojuku.)

Standing obediently behind the kiroi sen, waiting for the futsu densha. The shinkansen rushes by violently, the daigakusei immersed in their keitai taking no notice to their fluttering strait hair. Exhausted men staggering in from the post-work nomikai and a teenage couple holding hands on the way home from a late night of bukatsu. Kaze.


Kiroi sen, yellow safety line. Even the automated intercom voice warning riders to stand behind the line sounds tired, as she lists off the next few stops. Futsu densha, the local train, which is the slowest, but the only one that will stop near our obscure apartment by the river. Shinkansen, the bullet train that yells at 200 miles per hour, travelling from the frigid top to the beachy bottom of this California-sized island.


Daigakusei, college students. Thoughts of breaking the mold swimming around in their thoughts, but conforming to the norm on keitai, their cell phones. Nomikai, men drinking together with the coworkers they have already spent 12 hours with today. Leaving their wives to put the kids to bed and fall asleep alone, again. Bukatsu, the club sport middle and high schoolers have chosen, attending in the evenings after morning study, school, and after-school exam preparation class.


Kaze, a gentle wind, flowing from the ancient treetops through the canal of the Motojuku train station, singing to the gods of the land of the rising sun. Motojuku, a mountain town in the city of Okazaki, Japan. Motojuku is in puberty, honoring the ancient roots that run down the mountain through the station: the first spurt of growth into city life.


Walking to the station, strict tradition and devotion tingles the ground as one passes the abandoned shrines and temples covered in mossy drapes. The remaining beverage machine lights glitter, enticing the pedestrian to enjoy a melon soda, or can of corn soup. Cross the bridge, around the enormous gutter and down and up the staircase to cross the street, kaze again. The automatic ticket teller doesn't process prepaid train cards yet, a two-inch ticket must be purchased in the adjacent machine, fed to the teller, where it will meet the rider on the other side of the gate.


Alas the futsu densha arrives, and all these figures pile in to the surprisingly clean car. The train travels hundreds of miles, carrying thousands of people per day. However, like their thoughts, all riders keep their refuse to themselves. Exhaustion and beaten routine swirl through the muggy air, pride in their inventions but begging for innovations. Eyes do not meet on purpose, they sleepily close or adhere to a screen, sealing in isolation. Politeness and courtesy abound although friendship shyly remains fictional. The figures rock back and forth once, as the train stretches out of the station. Until next time.


 

Current Understanding of Obedience

I would love to share a bit of what I have learned. I pray that as I testify, the Holy Ghost will be in your heart to teach you the tidbit of Gospel that you need in your home this week. To me, the Holy Ghost feels like a warm swelling in my heart, which is similar to the feeling of heartburn I get after eating a meal like the one on Thanksgiving. So, sometimes it’s hard to tell. But, if we listen, the Holy Ghost will quietly testify to you in a way that is specific to you. This is how we learn truth.





I am Brooklyn Tanner, Jonathan is my husband. I am from Murray, a suburb in south Salt Lake, and fabulous Jon is from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. We met as missionaries in Matsumoto, Japan. We worked in the same ward for the very last month of Jon’s time as a missionary. We were friends there, but I never really expected to see him again. However, I came home about four months after him, just in time for his spring break trip to Arizona. He called and asked me for a ride to the airport, took me to breakfast, and now we are married! It has been my greatest joy being his wife for 300 days so far. A bit about me, I work as a family entertainer, performing a magic variety show for private events, I love pies and I am rather loud but relatively lovable all the same.


A bit about Jon, he is a studying at BYU to become a software developer. He a dog lover and a very good dish-doer. He is humble and sweet, and silly and fun to talk to, but he is best at listening intently and thoughtfully. His personality is charming and he is so loving. He is selfless and knows and acts upon his priorities. He is a hard worker and obedient to God. I am learning about the Savior through Jonathan and reading the Book of Mormon.


I feel privileged to have known Jon as a missionary, because I saw him in a place where he was working very hard to please nobody but his Heavenly Father. He really showed me the true meaning of obedience, just like the Savior did for us. Jesus Christ was obedient to God in order to accomplish his divine potential. Our divine potential is to become like Jesus Christ, which we can do by knowing his teachings, and doing as he would do. This cycle of Know, Do, Become has helped me more clearly understand the importance and joy of being obedient.


So let’s read about it in the scriptures. Please, turn with me to Alma chapter 12. For those of us who are stylishly vintage, this is on page 237 of the Book of Mormon. Here we are in the midst of the ministry of Alma and Amulek. These two are awesome. I think the mission president was very happy about this companionship. In chapter 12, they are working with a particularly difficult investigator, Zeezrom. Amulek just finished testifying about God and the purpose of Jesus Christ. Zeezrom still doesn’t understand, but is speechless, so Alma takes this opportunity to step in and give it a shot. Verse 9.


Diligence. I this that is a good synonym for obedience. We have the great blessing of being taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we accept it, and live it, we are rewarded with eternal life. Alma promises us that if we listen to the word of God, we will have more access to understanding the word of God. Let’s keep reading. Verse 14.


Ouch. Sounds a little scary. The only thing that can condemn us, that can keep us from eternal life is our own words and works. When I was younger I thought this meant God wanted to control me, and blindly follow him even though I didn’t understand very much. He is waiting to punish me if I do something wrong. But that is NOT how it is. Next verse (15). This will not do!


God is EAGER to reward us, bless us, live with us, His children. His work and glory is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life. He sent His son, to live for us and to die for us. He lived a perfect life to show us the commandments, how to be obedient. Then, He took upon Him the suffering for our sins, so redemption would be possible. He died physical and spiritual death so we would have the chance to repent when we mistake in our obedience. This is a grandiose and humble act of love. Verse 33-34.


Jesus increased in wisdom, and in stature and in favor with God and man.
Luke 2:52

Vision, Purpose and Values

In my pursuit to develop a helpful, graceful presence, I hope to develop an understanding and cultivation of charity, humor, balance, and dependability. 

Charity is pure love, the inherent desire and responsibility I believe we all have to care for one another. To have charity would be to be patient with all people, even those I have not met who seem to make the world more unkind and unproductive. I want to be able to discern the needs of those around me, and especially those under my stewardship. I want to create a family where love foundational and felt daily. I want people to come into our house, and feel good, and know they are welcome, desired, loved, able, and listened to. Listening would be a big part of it too. I want to be able to discern when to talk and when to listen, because I know I need to do more of the listening.  

Humor is adding a helpful, light-hearted perspective to mundane experiences. I absolutely adore the feeling of saying to do something that makes someone laugh. I believe there are many fine lines in humor, and potential for hurting others with it, which I want to be wary of. I want to create jokes and words that can make people laugh, and bring joy back into their day, never offending or hurting someone at the expense of a joke.  

I would love to achieve balance in my lifestyle. There are many things which are important to me, and I have a tendency to take on responsibility for many lovely things, subsequently being unable to accomplish any of those things well, since my efforts are too far stretched. Balancing food and exercise, critical and positive thinking, family and work time; I think these elements would help me develop a great sense of peace.  

The last characteristic I am focused upon is dependability. Too often people in need go unnoticed, uncared for, and unheard. I would love to be a dependable person whom people think of to call when they need a friend or a helping hand. Along with balance, I feel that dependability stems from organizing your time in a way that allows you to stop and fulfill a need when you see it, even if it is sudden or immediate.  

I hope to hone these characteristics to achieve some fabulous goals. The first accomplishment I envision is singing Christmas songs with my husband and children in our living room while I accompany us on the piano. I have always wanted to learn to play, because I feel that music strengthens my relationships and beliefs. I really want to become a mother, and create a warm, nourishing home where my children can have good memories and learn kindness. Learning to play piano is difficult, I am on my fourth attempt at starting lessons. However, I believe in practice, so if I am more diligent in my practice I believe I will be able to accomplish this goal.  

Next, I hope to become an excellent entertainer. I think at times it is difficult to find interactive entertainment one can experience with their family and hold good memories about. I currently work as a magician, and I adore performing. I have a goal to one day perform a one-woman variety show for a theatre-sized audience. I want this show to be very funny, and include magic, dance, juggling, music, and audience participation. Being able to bring this type of happiness to an audience would bring me great joy. Developing entertaining material and finding a venue to perform at is a challenge. I can overcome this by continuing to perform at my small-scale shows, improve my talents, and strive to meet people who could connect me to the right places.  

Another important goal to me is finding a way to assist humans in need with my husband. One day I hope we can leave our home, travel to a foreign place, and use our talents to teach, uplift, heal, or assist someone or a group of people. I believe one great purpose of being human is to have talents and share them with others, and this type of work would be a fulfillment of this purpose. I think it will be hard work to save up enough money to move somewhere and volunteer for an extended period. However, we can overcome this by setting priorities and budgeting modestly.  

In pursuit of a fulfilling, joyful, useful life, I will make choices based on the principles I believe to be true. The principles that appeal to me are those of love, humility, and charity taught by Jesus Christ. I love learning about what he taught by reading scripture and noting characteristics I find in others that align with his characteristics. Jesus Christ lived his life committed to helping humans understand perspective, charity, joy, and self-mastery. Therefore, I feel that involving in Christianity will help me achieve my chosen goals.